Who doesn't love Las Vegas? Bright lights, beautiful people, fake Elvis's (or is it Elvi?), Chippendale dancers...where was I going with this? I just returned from a fun filled four days in Sin City where I slept an average of four hours per night. It was a combination of late nights and my inability to adjust to Pacific Time.
I am pleased to say I won big in Vegas! OK, big is probably a "big" exaggeration.
I learned how to play Black Jack, a very addicting game at least to me and won....are you ready???.......20.........dollars. Ha, ha! Those of you who know me well know I love to spend money on trips, purses, shoes, iTunes, etc. (hence the "broke" in the title of my blog) but at the casino....not so much.
However, I was willing to take a small risk and play some $10 Black Jack. After winning two rounds I was out - I figured it is best to quit while ahead. I may end up in AA someday but I am pretty damn sure I will never end up in Gambler's Anonymous! Speaking of "Gamblers", my favorite gambler, Kenny Rogers, also brought me luck. I was killing time in "Paris" and Kenny's "The Gambler" one cent slot machine (yes, one penny) brought me $10.36. In Vegas, that is nothing but for the $1 I put in the machine it was a great ROI so I cashed out.
Viva Las Vegas!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Worst airport in America?
On the road again!
You all know I love to travel and do it a lot. In an "orange alert" world we all have travel trauma, usually due to the airlines or overzealous TSA screeners.
Now, I have been through most of the major US airports since 2001 including LaGuardia, LAX, Atlanta (more times than I can count), Miami, Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, New Orleans, Tampa, Charlotte, Raleigh Durham, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Memphis, Las Vegas, Detroit, Indy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Reagan, Dulles, Baltimore....ok, you get the picture.
Basically, if it is a hub for any major airline I have been there. Many have their drawbacks...Memphis is like a cave. Detroit, despite major renovations, still just plain sucks. Doing the one mile dash from one end of the terminal to the other is horrible and the tram that only goes HALF WAY across helps no one. St. Louis - well, I hate Missouri and that airport is the devil. Minneapolis - good luck making a tight connection from a regional jet to a "real" plane there - it just won't happen. Last time I had 10 minutes to make a 3 mile hike through the airport. Security at Reagan - well, since it is so close to everything in DC be prepared to give a DNA sample.
Yes, my friends, all these airports suck in one way or another. Though, I do love the mall in the Pittsburgh airport and I think considering Atlanta is the world's busiest airport it is very well run (and it has a Moe's now in the C Concourse). However, after traveling to Chicago O'Hare twice in the last two weeks, I have drawn the conclusion it is, indeed, the worst airport in America.
When I was a Chapter Consultant (aka Professional Sorority Girl), O'Hare was the only place I ever missed a connection when traveling to exciting places like Muncie, Ind. and Dubuqe, Iowa. However, the last two weeks proved O'Hare is more than a connector's nightmare. I could rant and rave on about why but let me just give a summary:
Basically, the signage is awful. Expect the signs to "ground transportation" to lead to nowehere. When you finally do find the airport shuttles good luck figuring out what lane you have to wait in. I ended up having to walk to the airport hotel in the rain to get a shuttle to another hotel because I couldn't find the terminal pickup! Shuttles just kept flying by me, spraying stagnant rain water on me and my luggage.
Don't ask for directions because the airport employees won't help you. If you are trying to take a cab in a normal airport, say LaGuardia, there is a little man at the cab stand helping you. O'Hare has the cab stand but no little man. So, if you need a cab who will take a credit card or drive you to the suburbs you are screwed. There are no arrival/departure boards anywhere until you pass security. So, if you check in online and don't get a gate assignment, you're screwed. Real people have been replaced with machines so there is no one to ask. And, if you find someone they will tell you to re-check in at a machine. So, if you don't do this you run a major risk of going through the wrong security line for the terminal you are trying to get to! Security is a nightmare. Expect to wait at least an hour and to get YELLED at by the TSA screeners for no reason. Expect them to treat you poorly because they hate their jobs.
So, just a warning for those of you traveling to or through O'Hare any time soon.
You all know I love to travel and do it a lot. In an "orange alert" world we all have travel trauma, usually due to the airlines or overzealous TSA screeners.
Now, I have been through most of the major US airports since 2001 including LaGuardia, LAX, Atlanta (more times than I can count), Miami, Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, New Orleans, Tampa, Charlotte, Raleigh Durham, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Memphis, Las Vegas, Detroit, Indy, Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Reagan, Dulles, Baltimore....ok, you get the picture.
Basically, if it is a hub for any major airline I have been there. Many have their drawbacks...Memphis is like a cave. Detroit, despite major renovations, still just plain sucks. Doing the one mile dash from one end of the terminal to the other is horrible and the tram that only goes HALF WAY across helps no one. St. Louis - well, I hate Missouri and that airport is the devil. Minneapolis - good luck making a tight connection from a regional jet to a "real" plane there - it just won't happen. Last time I had 10 minutes to make a 3 mile hike through the airport. Security at Reagan - well, since it is so close to everything in DC be prepared to give a DNA sample.
Yes, my friends, all these airports suck in one way or another. Though, I do love the mall in the Pittsburgh airport and I think considering Atlanta is the world's busiest airport it is very well run (and it has a Moe's now in the C Concourse). However, after traveling to Chicago O'Hare twice in the last two weeks, I have drawn the conclusion it is, indeed, the worst airport in America.
When I was a Chapter Consultant (aka Professional Sorority Girl), O'Hare was the only place I ever missed a connection when traveling to exciting places like Muncie, Ind. and Dubuqe, Iowa. However, the last two weeks proved O'Hare is more than a connector's nightmare. I could rant and rave on about why but let me just give a summary:
Basically, the signage is awful. Expect the signs to "ground transportation" to lead to nowehere. When you finally do find the airport shuttles good luck figuring out what lane you have to wait in. I ended up having to walk to the airport hotel in the rain to get a shuttle to another hotel because I couldn't find the terminal pickup! Shuttles just kept flying by me, spraying stagnant rain water on me and my luggage.
Don't ask for directions because the airport employees won't help you. If you are trying to take a cab in a normal airport, say LaGuardia, there is a little man at the cab stand helping you. O'Hare has the cab stand but no little man. So, if you need a cab who will take a credit card or drive you to the suburbs you are screwed. There are no arrival/departure boards anywhere until you pass security. So, if you check in online and don't get a gate assignment, you're screwed. Real people have been replaced with machines so there is no one to ask. And, if you find someone they will tell you to re-check in at a machine. So, if you don't do this you run a major risk of going through the wrong security line for the terminal you are trying to get to! Security is a nightmare. Expect to wait at least an hour and to get YELLED at by the TSA screeners for no reason. Expect them to treat you poorly because they hate their jobs.
So, just a warning for those of you traveling to or through O'Hare any time soon.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Coast to coast travel trauma
First, let me say even though I was on the West Coast for three short days my body is still on West Coast time - hence the reason I am wide awake on a Sunday at 11:54 EDT!
Today was such a crazy travel day. I made a trip to UCLA for Phi Mu - I know, I am crazy. Anyway, it all started with a message yesterday that my flight out of LA was cancelled. After several calls to Northwest I was able to be re-routed out of Santa Ana through the ATL to GR on Delta. This required a change in my housing arrangements Saturday night and a late night drop off of my car at LAX Saturday night since I would not be flying out of there. By midnight last night (this AM?) my car was returned and I was getting ready to go to sleep in my temporary housing. The person I was staying with had a roommate that came home wasted and was throwing up so that was a definite throw back to my professional sorority girl days! So, I didn't sleep so well. I gave myself an hour and a half for the aiport since it was described to me as "sleepy" in compairison to LAX.
Sleepy my ass! Every family visiting Disneyland this weekend flew out of Orange County this morning and it took forever to get to the check in line.
When it was finally my turn at the self-check in kiosk I was told I did not have a reservation. My ride had dropped me off - I needed to get on a plane! Thankfully, I was able to score a seat. It was a middle seat and I was less than thrilled but was simply happy to be on my way home. This whole process took about a half an hour. As I proceeded to the mile long secruity line I noticed "SSSS" on my boarding pass.
Uh-oh.
Any regular traveler knows that is no good. Yes, my friends, since I was flying one way (it did not matter that my flight was CANCELLED and I had NO OTHER OPTIONS) I suddenly became a suspicious person and was selected for special screening. Well, they didn't say that but any time I have flown one way post 9/11 it has been an ordeal. Today was no exception.
After standing in line for about 20 minutes (did I say I gave myself and hour and a half for the whole process?) I got to the point where they checked my boarding pass and ID and sure enough, I get moved to the "special screening" line where I have to put all my personal contents in red bins (as opposed to the normal gray ones). I stood there for about 20 minutes waiting on a "female assist" - at this point, I am getting pissed. I know my flight is about to board. Finally, I get escorted to the speical screening area like my name is Jen Bin Laden and get felt up, pat down and have all my personal items scrutinized and finally, it is determined I am not a threat and I am permitted to head to my gate. I travel a lot so this shouldn't phase me but I was extremely annoyed today. On the four hour flight to Atlanta I was pretty much comatose. I mean, when you are in the middle you can't move, you have no arm rest since the other two people usually take them, you just have to sort of sit there so that is what I did. However, I am happy to report I am finally home and happy to sleep in my bed before taking off for a three day work trip this week!
Today was such a crazy travel day. I made a trip to UCLA for Phi Mu - I know, I am crazy. Anyway, it all started with a message yesterday that my flight out of LA was cancelled. After several calls to Northwest I was able to be re-routed out of Santa Ana through the ATL to GR on Delta. This required a change in my housing arrangements Saturday night and a late night drop off of my car at LAX Saturday night since I would not be flying out of there. By midnight last night (this AM?) my car was returned and I was getting ready to go to sleep in my temporary housing. The person I was staying with had a roommate that came home wasted and was throwing up so that was a definite throw back to my professional sorority girl days! So, I didn't sleep so well. I gave myself an hour and a half for the aiport since it was described to me as "sleepy" in compairison to LAX.
Sleepy my ass! Every family visiting Disneyland this weekend flew out of Orange County this morning and it took forever to get to the check in line.
When it was finally my turn at the self-check in kiosk I was told I did not have a reservation. My ride had dropped me off - I needed to get on a plane! Thankfully, I was able to score a seat. It was a middle seat and I was less than thrilled but was simply happy to be on my way home. This whole process took about a half an hour. As I proceeded to the mile long secruity line I noticed "SSSS" on my boarding pass.
Uh-oh.
Any regular traveler knows that is no good. Yes, my friends, since I was flying one way (it did not matter that my flight was CANCELLED and I had NO OTHER OPTIONS) I suddenly became a suspicious person and was selected for special screening. Well, they didn't say that but any time I have flown one way post 9/11 it has been an ordeal. Today was no exception.
After standing in line for about 20 minutes (did I say I gave myself and hour and a half for the whole process?) I got to the point where they checked my boarding pass and ID and sure enough, I get moved to the "special screening" line where I have to put all my personal contents in red bins (as opposed to the normal gray ones). I stood there for about 20 minutes waiting on a "female assist" - at this point, I am getting pissed. I know my flight is about to board. Finally, I get escorted to the speical screening area like my name is Jen Bin Laden and get felt up, pat down and have all my personal items scrutinized and finally, it is determined I am not a threat and I am permitted to head to my gate. I travel a lot so this shouldn't phase me but I was extremely annoyed today. On the four hour flight to Atlanta I was pretty much comatose. I mean, when you are in the middle you can't move, you have no arm rest since the other two people usually take them, you just have to sort of sit there so that is what I did. However, I am happy to report I am finally home and happy to sleep in my bed before taking off for a three day work trip this week!
Monday, May 28, 2007
"Crazy Mary" fare you well
Some bad news to report. It appears Crazy Mary moved out this weekend. It has been strangely quiet and I have been wondering what has been going on. On Saturday I saw her moving boxes out of her apartment with the help of someone who appeared to be normal. She didn't have many belongings so it happened quickly. How long does it take to "pack" a couple of Care Bears, plastic lawn chairs and a Sharpie? Perhaps she is finally going off to Pine Rest where she belongs. Pine Rest, for those of you not from the area, is the local loony bin.
Crazy Mary's new next door neighbors may have been what drove her out. Living next door to Crazy Mary (and directly below me) is a female couple with a baby. At least that is what I have been able to figure out from the comings and goings since they appeared a week or so ago. These two "women" fight like you wouldn't believe...I use the term loosely because they look like they are both about 20. One of them has the highest pitch scream I have ever heard and yells all the time at the other one. The child clearly takes after one of her mommies as she is actually screaming outside their front door right now. Anyway, so much for my landlord telling me we are all young urban professionals in the building! These chicks look like they barely got their GEDs and work third shift at Super Wal-Mart.
Crazy Mary's new next door neighbors may have been what drove her out. Living next door to Crazy Mary (and directly below me) is a female couple with a baby. At least that is what I have been able to figure out from the comings and goings since they appeared a week or so ago. These two "women" fight like you wouldn't believe...I use the term loosely because they look like they are both about 20. One of them has the highest pitch scream I have ever heard and yells all the time at the other one. The child clearly takes after one of her mommies as she is actually screaming outside their front door right now. Anyway, so much for my landlord telling me we are all young urban professionals in the building! These chicks look like they barely got their GEDs and work third shift at Super Wal-Mart.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
"Crazy Mary's" dinner order
"I WANT A TUNA SANDWICH!!!" "HELL-OOOOO I WANT A TUNA FISH SAAAANDWIIIIIICHHHHH!!!!!!" \
Apparently Crazy Mary wanted a tuna fish sandwhich tonight for dinner. I assume she was on the phone with Jimmy John's which is a hop, skip and a jump away.
Crazy Mary stood outside yelling her order in to the phone and holding the phone like it was a microphone. She had the listening end of the phone pointing out in the air so she had no way of being able to know if Jimmy John's was listening. I don't know if her sandwich ever arrived....there have been no crazy outbursts so I am assuming she tracked down a sandwich one way or another.
Apparently Crazy Mary wanted a tuna fish sandwhich tonight for dinner. I assume she was on the phone with Jimmy John's which is a hop, skip and a jump away.
Crazy Mary stood outside yelling her order in to the phone and holding the phone like it was a microphone. She had the listening end of the phone pointing out in the air so she had no way of being able to know if Jimmy John's was listening. I don't know if her sandwich ever arrived....there have been no crazy outbursts so I am assuming she tracked down a sandwich one way or another.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
"Crazy 'Singing' Mary"
What a fabulous day here in wacky West Michigan! The weather is beautiful so my friend Crystal and I headed off to Lake Michigan for some summer fun! We sat on the beach and then went to Saugatuck for some shopping and wine tasting. So, after fabulous day and I returned home to hear what I thought was bad opera. Well, it is bad opera - sort of. Crazy Mary is downstairs singing what I guess is opera. She is sort of singing scales...it is like the typicial "ah ahha ah ah ah!" type sound. She is off her rocker. I can't handle it.
I decided to go for a walk downtown so I put on my running shoes and headed out the door. I purposely walked past her front door. The Care Bears are no longer in the bay window and the mailbox with the deranged writing has been replaced with a shiny brand new one. And there, inside on a plastic chair, was Crazy Mary rocking back and forth and singing....
It's going to be a long summer, my friends!
I decided to go for a walk downtown so I put on my running shoes and headed out the door. I purposely walked past her front door. The Care Bears are no longer in the bay window and the mailbox with the deranged writing has been replaced with a shiny brand new one. And there, inside on a plastic chair, was Crazy Mary rocking back and forth and singing....
It's going to be a long summer, my friends!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
"Crazy Mary" back in action
Since some of you are fans of the "Crazy Mary" updates I have a few tidbits to share:
First and foremost, Sunday night around 11:30 PM she was blowing what sounded like a plastic whistle. This went on for about a half an hour. There was some yelling intertwined with the whistle-blowing. It was special as you can imagine...I mean, why wouldn't I want to listen to that on a Sunday night in preparation for a work week rather than, say, sleep?
So I wake up Monday morning for work after finally falling asleep despite the whistling, enter the bathroom and hear her screaming and yelling downstairs....I arrive home around 5:30, enter the bathroom and hear her screaming. I go out for the evening and arrive back around 11 pm. Head to the bathroom to wash my face and what do I hear? More screaming/yelling!
Crazy Mary clearly: A.) Does not sleep, B.) Does not have a job, C.) Must have a sore throat from yelling/screaming, D.) all of the above. So I am wondering if she just screamed/yelled for like 18 hours straight? She yells words but they make no sense...maybe she's possessed by the devil like Marlena was on Days of Our Lives?
Great, if my building burns down I am going to be really angry....
First and foremost, Sunday night around 11:30 PM she was blowing what sounded like a plastic whistle. This went on for about a half an hour. There was some yelling intertwined with the whistle-blowing. It was special as you can imagine...I mean, why wouldn't I want to listen to that on a Sunday night in preparation for a work week rather than, say, sleep?
So I wake up Monday morning for work after finally falling asleep despite the whistling, enter the bathroom and hear her screaming and yelling downstairs....I arrive home around 5:30, enter the bathroom and hear her screaming. I go out for the evening and arrive back around 11 pm. Head to the bathroom to wash my face and what do I hear? More screaming/yelling!
Crazy Mary clearly: A.) Does not sleep, B.) Does not have a job, C.) Must have a sore throat from yelling/screaming, D.) all of the above. So I am wondering if she just screamed/yelled for like 18 hours straight? She yells words but they make no sense...maybe she's possessed by the devil like Marlena was on Days of Our Lives?
Great, if my building burns down I am going to be really angry....
Sunday, March 11, 2007
"Crazy Mary" update
Life has returned to Grand Rapids thanks to Mother Nature. With the weather warming and snow melting, people are finally coming out of hibernation.
This includes Crazy Mary. She emerged Saturday to clean the melting snow off her car, which has not moved for weeks. By the way, it has two stickers: one that says "VERMONT" and the other that says something to the effect of "proud teacher." No worries, my teacher friends, Crazy Mary is clearly dillusional and just wants to be one of you.
The house next door is getting a new roof, so Crazy Mary was standing in awe of the workmen on the roof of the house while I stood in awe of seeing her in daylight. I watched her as she looked down, saw a piece of newspaper on the ground, picked it up, walked to the dumpster where she proceeded to jump in and dig through the dumpster. She started frantically ripping in to garbage bags. At that point I picked my jaw up off the ground, hopped in my car and made a speedy getaway. Stay tuned, friends. I am sure spring will bring many new Crazy Mary stories!
This includes Crazy Mary. She emerged Saturday to clean the melting snow off her car, which has not moved for weeks. By the way, it has two stickers: one that says "VERMONT" and the other that says something to the effect of "proud teacher." No worries, my teacher friends, Crazy Mary is clearly dillusional and just wants to be one of you.
The house next door is getting a new roof, so Crazy Mary was standing in awe of the workmen on the roof of the house while I stood in awe of seeing her in daylight. I watched her as she looked down, saw a piece of newspaper on the ground, picked it up, walked to the dumpster where she proceeded to jump in and dig through the dumpster. She started frantically ripping in to garbage bags. At that point I picked my jaw up off the ground, hopped in my car and made a speedy getaway. Stay tuned, friends. I am sure spring will bring many new Crazy Mary stories!
Friday, March 9, 2007
Maybe I'm Crazy...
Well, not me, my neighbor. I have a crazy neighbor. I live in the city (even though it is just downtown Grand Rapids it still has its share of crazies) so I expect to hear noise, people, emergency vehicles, etc. and I am totally OK with that. What I am not OK with is my crazy neighbor.
She has what I can best describe as "little fits" all the time. She loves Elvis and constantly plays his music. "Blue Christmas" is a particular favorite. One Saturday she played it for six hours straight.
She moved in some time this fall. At first I thought I had a neighbor who liked horror movies because of the blood curdling screams I heard coming from her apartment. As it continued, I thought she may be in an abusive relationship or something terrible because of the screaming. However, it all became clear on New Year's Eve of this year. I spent a low key evening with a small group of friends in town and returned home shortly after midnight. Upon my arrival she was outside jumping up and down with a party hat on just screaming and yelling. She was all alone...and sober.
As it turns out "Crazy Mary", as I like to call her (I have no idea what her name is) is crazy. All that yelling, screaming, jamming to Elvis and occasional wall-pounding is just her doing her thing. A month or so ago she had a mental breakdown on a Thursday night and started beating on the walls and playing her music so loud walls were shaking. Our other neighbors reported that she was sitting in her living room alone (she has plastic furniture - cheap front porch furniture if you get my drift) rocking back and forth.
Scary.
Since then, I come home at night expecting Crazy Mary to jump out of the bushes or to find she has set our whole little block area on fire. I talked to my next door neighbor the other day who said she is "touched in the head." Glad someone confirmed it...I guess.
Today I walked by Crazy Mary's front window to find she has two Care Bears positioned in the picture window for all to see. She has also written what I believe is her name in black Sharpie the brass mailbox that hangs next to her front door. Out of fear she would jump out when she saw me staring in her window and at mailbox, I high-tailed it out too quickly to read the name. It was hard to read anyway...I failed to mention it looked like a six year old wrote it.
And people say GR is boring.
She has what I can best describe as "little fits" all the time. She loves Elvis and constantly plays his music. "Blue Christmas" is a particular favorite. One Saturday she played it for six hours straight.
She moved in some time this fall. At first I thought I had a neighbor who liked horror movies because of the blood curdling screams I heard coming from her apartment. As it continued, I thought she may be in an abusive relationship or something terrible because of the screaming. However, it all became clear on New Year's Eve of this year. I spent a low key evening with a small group of friends in town and returned home shortly after midnight. Upon my arrival she was outside jumping up and down with a party hat on just screaming and yelling. She was all alone...and sober.
As it turns out "Crazy Mary", as I like to call her (I have no idea what her name is) is crazy. All that yelling, screaming, jamming to Elvis and occasional wall-pounding is just her doing her thing. A month or so ago she had a mental breakdown on a Thursday night and started beating on the walls and playing her music so loud walls were shaking. Our other neighbors reported that she was sitting in her living room alone (she has plastic furniture - cheap front porch furniture if you get my drift) rocking back and forth.
Scary.
Since then, I come home at night expecting Crazy Mary to jump out of the bushes or to find she has set our whole little block area on fire. I talked to my next door neighbor the other day who said she is "touched in the head." Glad someone confirmed it...I guess.
Today I walked by Crazy Mary's front window to find she has two Care Bears positioned in the picture window for all to see. She has also written what I believe is her name in black Sharpie the brass mailbox that hangs next to her front door. Out of fear she would jump out when she saw me staring in her window and at mailbox, I high-tailed it out too quickly to read the name. It was hard to read anyway...I failed to mention it looked like a six year old wrote it.
And people say GR is boring.
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