I turned down an opportunity to make my national TV debut.
My job has put me on local TV from time to time but nothing like this.
A staff person from the Ricki Lake show contacted me after stumbling across the blog. No joke! I edited the email address and phone number but here's the message:
Hi There, Jen!
I'm messaging you from the Ricki Lake Show office in Los Angeles. I stumbled across your blog, and thought you might be a good fit in a segment we are working on. We are looking for a single woman who doesn't necessarily want to change up a lifestyle of certain luxuries- going out with friends, mani/pedis, shopping, Starbucks etc... But still sweats it out until the next paycheck. I'd love to talk to you more about it if you have a few moments today. I can be reached via e-mail at name@therickilakeshow.com or on the office line: 310.XXX.XXXX.
Thanks so much! Hope to hear from you soon!
-Name
Ricki's staff person is on it - I do fit the bill. However, taking my single, broke and not so fabulous life on a national talk show is not my style. Though it would have been super fun (who doesn't love Ricki Lake?? "Hairspray" was amazing!)! Then again, I would have been in L.A. and could have found Cali Jen (and Cali Jen #2 for that matter). I mean, if I found Beyonce for Wiggy in NYC, finding a non celebrity with my name should be a breeze, right?
Ah, c'est la vie. It would have been fun. Crap. Now I'm wondering if Ricki would have given me some free Kate Spade swag or something.
I'm still thinking if I'm going to go for TV, I'm totally going for "The Price Is Right." Occasionally they give away Kate Spade luggage and bags....to go along with a fabulous trip somewhere. Heaven knows I am in desperate need of a real vacation!
Showing posts with label Kate Spade.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kate Spade.. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Why I love Twitter
I love Twitter.
I use Twitter to keep up with news, entertainment and pop culture. For example, the other night it was fun reading Tweets from all over during the Oscars - it made watching the Oscars fun ('cause Billy Crystal was a total bore. Seriously, this is not 1989!).
My favorite thing to do on Twitter is follow celebrities. I am NOT one of those people who asks celebs to "RT" (a "retweet" for those of you not hip to Twitter lingo. Or as my friend Rachael would call it, The Twitter). Those people are just dumb. And I never understand why celebs do it. For example, "Hey Cher, it's Monday, can I get a RT?" and she actually RTs. If I were Cher I would say, "Get a life" but clearly Cher is much nicer than I.
I rarely Tweet at celebrities either because I am sure tons of people Tweet at them all the time. However, I did Tweet at Kathy Griffin during the Oscars (poor thing was in the hospital, supposedly with bird flu?!?) because she Tweeted something about the show being boring. I responded saying she would be a fun host. No response, though I'm sure she totally agreed with me.
I follow my favorite author ( and long lost sister...seriously, she is like the Republican version of me) Jen Lancaster on Twitter. Now, since I feel like Jen is my BFF (Dear Jen, please be my BFF. -Jen), I often reply to her Tweets and always hope she'll respond. No luck yet though she does, indeed FOLLOW me on Twitter. Yep, that was a big day in my life (sad).
In other words, when it comes to celebrities I don't follow the former Mr. Demi Moore (Ashton...nor Bruce Willis come to think of it), Kim Kardashian (or as my dad calls her Kim Kevorkian, you know, as in Jack "Dr. Death" Kevorkian) or anyone like that. Just "normal" celebrities or people I think are celebrities.
Case and point? Remember late last year when I geeked out about seeing Wilson Phillips in concert? Love them! They were my favorite music group in the 8th and 9th grades. Anyway, they are all on Twitter and I follow them all (of course). Tonight Wendy Wilson Tweeted me. Seriously. She Tweeted earlier this week about how they are working on a new album, so I responded and asked when it is coming out. She just wrote me back (answer is April). How cool is that? I suppose you had to know me back in the day to understand how happy my inner 14 year old is right now (my friend Karen will totally get this).
Sometimes I think social media is undoing the fabric of our society. O.K., I suppose I feel that way about Facebook ( even though I use it daily). However, with Twitter, you only get a few characters. You have to keep it short. There's not as much drama (remember vaguebooking?). You can just share a little. So I get why celebrities, quasi-celebrities and wannabe celebrities like Twitter. You can connected just enough without having to share too much (unless you are Demi and Ashton because I hear they used to Tweet photos of themselves in bed. Gross).
Side note:I'm waiting for the day Beyonce starts Tweeting. Wiggy will probably quit her job to become a full time Twitter-er/Beyonce stalker.
I'll stick with my more relatable celebrities in the mean time. And will keep hoping Jen Lancaster will Tweet me back someday. And then we'll become BFFs. I also keep hoping Kate Spade (the person, not the company - the company has RTed my Kate mentions on several occasions. Frequent customer) joins Twitter. Because she should be my other BFF. Just imagine how many purses I would own then....
I use Twitter to keep up with news, entertainment and pop culture. For example, the other night it was fun reading Tweets from all over during the Oscars - it made watching the Oscars fun ('cause Billy Crystal was a total bore. Seriously, this is not 1989!).
My favorite thing to do on Twitter is follow celebrities. I am NOT one of those people who asks celebs to "RT" (a "retweet" for those of you not hip to Twitter lingo. Or as my friend Rachael would call it, The Twitter). Those people are just dumb. And I never understand why celebs do it. For example, "Hey Cher, it's Monday, can I get a RT?" and she actually RTs. If I were Cher I would say, "Get a life" but clearly Cher is much nicer than I.
I rarely Tweet at celebrities either because I am sure tons of people Tweet at them all the time. However, I did Tweet at Kathy Griffin during the Oscars (poor thing was in the hospital, supposedly with bird flu?!?) because she Tweeted something about the show being boring. I responded saying she would be a fun host. No response, though I'm sure she totally agreed with me.
I follow my favorite author ( and long lost sister...seriously, she is like the Republican version of me) Jen Lancaster on Twitter. Now, since I feel like Jen is my BFF (Dear Jen, please be my BFF. -Jen), I often reply to her Tweets and always hope she'll respond. No luck yet though she does, indeed FOLLOW me on Twitter. Yep, that was a big day in my life (sad).
In other words, when it comes to celebrities I don't follow the former Mr. Demi Moore (Ashton...nor Bruce Willis come to think of it), Kim Kardashian (or as my dad calls her Kim Kevorkian, you know, as in Jack "Dr. Death" Kevorkian) or anyone like that. Just "normal" celebrities or people I think are celebrities.
Case and point? Remember late last year when I geeked out about seeing Wilson Phillips in concert? Love them! They were my favorite music group in the 8th and 9th grades. Anyway, they are all on Twitter and I follow them all (of course). Tonight Wendy Wilson Tweeted me. Seriously. She Tweeted earlier this week about how they are working on a new album, so I responded and asked when it is coming out. She just wrote me back (answer is April). How cool is that? I suppose you had to know me back in the day to understand how happy my inner 14 year old is right now (my friend Karen will totally get this).
Sometimes I think social media is undoing the fabric of our society. O.K., I suppose I feel that way about Facebook ( even though I use it daily). However, with Twitter, you only get a few characters. You have to keep it short. There's not as much drama (remember vaguebooking?). You can just share a little. So I get why celebrities, quasi-celebrities and wannabe celebrities like Twitter. You can connected just enough without having to share too much (unless you are Demi and Ashton because I hear they used to Tweet photos of themselves in bed. Gross).
Side note:I'm waiting for the day Beyonce starts Tweeting. Wiggy will probably quit her job to become a full time Twitter-er/Beyonce stalker.
I'll stick with my more relatable celebrities in the mean time. And will keep hoping Jen Lancaster will Tweet me back someday. And then we'll become BFFs. I also keep hoping Kate Spade (the person, not the company - the company has RTed my Kate mentions on several occasions. Frequent customer) joins Twitter. Because she should be my other BFF. Just imagine how many purses I would own then....
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Just another day in paradise ( or the 'hood)
It all started with this (not so) "brilliant" idea.
You all know I live in quite the neighborhood. In addition to a plethora of crack and crime, it has a plethora of bars. Sure, I've visited my fair share but certainly not all of them (because some look really scary). Literally, there are at least 20 bars within a one mile radius of my home.
Since winter in Michigan isn't exactly fabulous, my fellow west sider Rachael and I decided we would initiate a little winter project - to visit every west side bar we've never patroned by hitting one bar per week.
We've discovered some real gems. Cheap drinks, friendly people and good food. Every week we were pleasantly surprised and declared we would return to the bar. Until tonight.
Tonight our experience proved to be everything stereotypical about our neighborhood and what we expected to experience in these dives.
I've never visited this bar because it has a reputation for being a little...rough. However, it is two blocks away from some of our usual (and safe) hangouts so we figured it couldn't be "that" bad, right? Maybe? Anyway, tonight the bar looked empty from the outside but when we walked in all eyes were on us. The place was nearly full and we clearly didn't belong. I mean, we aren't hooked on meth so no, we didn't fit in. While walking past the bar to grab a table I noticed my draft beer choices were Bud Light and Busch. Super.
'
The bartender sported an 80s ponytail and a Bluethooth. However, she was friendly and we were pleased to pay $2 each for beer. The juke box was rocking and we made note that this bar had a closed circuit TV that alternated not one but four scenes captured by security cameras (awesome) when Bob, the drunken former Marine, former Army guy, five foot two father of six came walking our way with a thousand watt smile on his face.
You know that moment when you know something is about to happen but you are too paralyzed to speak? That's what happened to me as soon as I realized Bob had his radar locked on our table. Before I knew it he was trying to squeeze in to the booth next to me. Since I have a general rule about not cuddling with strangers (though this will be violated later) I refused to move over. No worries, the Bobster was persistent and scooted himself right in next to Rachael.
We got to hear Bob's life story (hence the thorough description above). We also got to hear him swear. A lot. More f bombs than I could count. He also enjoyed pointing at us and sort of winking every time he thought he said something funny, which, unfortunately happened a lot in large part because we kept nervously laughing because we didn't really have much to say in response to statements such as, "And then I told my kids to fuck off" or "I told my kid, don't call me, I'll call you."
The Bobster looked at me and said, "Aw, you're probably married with ten kids." to which I practically screamed, "Yes!" From that point on my left hand remained hidden under the table and I made several references to my (fictional) husband and (really fictional) children. I made sure to reference Rachael's engagement and she flashed Bob her hardware, so thankfully we were covered on that front.
I got a little nervous when a female "friend" of Bob's kept coming over. I did not want her thinking we were trying to steal her man. Especially after he said, "She's just jealous I'm talking to you" I couldn't help but remember the "Sex and the City" episode where Samantha and Carrie nearly got their asses kicked by the Jersey girls. In this scenario, and frankly, any scenario, I would not be the Jersey girl. Seriously, I have a meeting with the CEO at work tomorrow (I know, clearly Rachael and I did not belong at this bar - we have Master's degrees and careers), I was not prepared to explain any sort of contusions.
Don't worry because while Shelly/Michelle looked like a Jersey girl she had no ill will toward us and, in fact, was trying to sell us on her friend Bob (and don't worry, they are friends and have never had sex. Because, you know, men and women can be just friends. Thanks for sharing.). Shelly/Michelle liked us so much she crawled in the booth with me (as did her rather large and rather high male friend, thus violating my no cuddling with strangers rule, and when I say the dude was high I mean it - he reeked of pot) and, at one point, trusted us to watch her purse for an extended period of time. For real, she literally left her purse with us to go put Bob and her 51 year old "harmless" but "schizophrenic" friend Julie in a cab together (I can only imagine what that cab ride was like! Poor can driver.).
Shelly/Michelle knew every person in the bar. Rachael declared her the "mayor" of the bar and she was right on. However, there were some patrons Shelly/Michelle didn't seem to know. One of whom was sporting pajamas and, apparently in an effort to remove a layer of clothing, exposed her breast. I missed this but Rachael had full view.
I'll summarize this experience by saying this bar is like a magnet for tragedy. I would venture to guess every person there has a truly tragic story (not a someone brought cupcakes to work but I am trying to eat healthy or Kate Spade has a sale but I'm broke tragedy). Even our new friend Shelly/Michelle said something to the effect of "I just want to get out of this life and I'm going to soon."
Of course, me being me, I just kept thinking the whole time we were there how not bringing Kate (my purse - as in Spade) to the bar tonight was a good idea...and how I couldn't wait to get home to wash my hands.
By the way, universe, when I complained in an earlier blog post about not finding my Robert Scorpio, it did not mean send a short, drunk dude named Bob my way at the local dive bar. But thanks anyway.
You all know I live in quite the neighborhood. In addition to a plethora of crack and crime, it has a plethora of bars. Sure, I've visited my fair share but certainly not all of them (because some look really scary). Literally, there are at least 20 bars within a one mile radius of my home.
Since winter in Michigan isn't exactly fabulous, my fellow west sider Rachael and I decided we would initiate a little winter project - to visit every west side bar we've never patroned by hitting one bar per week.
We've discovered some real gems. Cheap drinks, friendly people and good food. Every week we were pleasantly surprised and declared we would return to the bar. Until tonight.
Tonight our experience proved to be everything stereotypical about our neighborhood and what we expected to experience in these dives.
I've never visited this bar because it has a reputation for being a little...rough. However, it is two blocks away from some of our usual (and safe) hangouts so we figured it couldn't be "that" bad, right? Maybe? Anyway, tonight the bar looked empty from the outside but when we walked in all eyes were on us. The place was nearly full and we clearly didn't belong. I mean, we aren't hooked on meth so no, we didn't fit in. While walking past the bar to grab a table I noticed my draft beer choices were Bud Light and Busch. Super.
'
The bartender sported an 80s ponytail and a Bluethooth. However, she was friendly and we were pleased to pay $2 each for beer. The juke box was rocking and we made note that this bar had a closed circuit TV that alternated not one but four scenes captured by security cameras (awesome) when Bob, the drunken former Marine, former Army guy, five foot two father of six came walking our way with a thousand watt smile on his face.
You know that moment when you know something is about to happen but you are too paralyzed to speak? That's what happened to me as soon as I realized Bob had his radar locked on our table. Before I knew it he was trying to squeeze in to the booth next to me. Since I have a general rule about not cuddling with strangers (though this will be violated later) I refused to move over. No worries, the Bobster was persistent and scooted himself right in next to Rachael.
We got to hear Bob's life story (hence the thorough description above). We also got to hear him swear. A lot. More f bombs than I could count. He also enjoyed pointing at us and sort of winking every time he thought he said something funny, which, unfortunately happened a lot in large part because we kept nervously laughing because we didn't really have much to say in response to statements such as, "And then I told my kids to fuck off" or "I told my kid, don't call me, I'll call you."
The Bobster looked at me and said, "Aw, you're probably married with ten kids." to which I practically screamed, "Yes!" From that point on my left hand remained hidden under the table and I made several references to my (fictional) husband and (really fictional) children. I made sure to reference Rachael's engagement and she flashed Bob her hardware, so thankfully we were covered on that front.
I got a little nervous when a female "friend" of Bob's kept coming over. I did not want her thinking we were trying to steal her man. Especially after he said, "She's just jealous I'm talking to you" I couldn't help but remember the "Sex and the City" episode where Samantha and Carrie nearly got their asses kicked by the Jersey girls. In this scenario, and frankly, any scenario, I would not be the Jersey girl. Seriously, I have a meeting with the CEO at work tomorrow (I know, clearly Rachael and I did not belong at this bar - we have Master's degrees and careers), I was not prepared to explain any sort of contusions.
Don't worry because while Shelly/Michelle looked like a Jersey girl she had no ill will toward us and, in fact, was trying to sell us on her friend Bob (and don't worry, they are friends and have never had sex. Because, you know, men and women can be just friends. Thanks for sharing.). Shelly/Michelle liked us so much she crawled in the booth with me (as did her rather large and rather high male friend, thus violating my no cuddling with strangers rule, and when I say the dude was high I mean it - he reeked of pot) and, at one point, trusted us to watch her purse for an extended period of time. For real, she literally left her purse with us to go put Bob and her 51 year old "harmless" but "schizophrenic" friend Julie in a cab together (I can only imagine what that cab ride was like! Poor can driver.).
Shelly/Michelle knew every person in the bar. Rachael declared her the "mayor" of the bar and she was right on. However, there were some patrons Shelly/Michelle didn't seem to know. One of whom was sporting pajamas and, apparently in an effort to remove a layer of clothing, exposed her breast. I missed this but Rachael had full view.
I'll summarize this experience by saying this bar is like a magnet for tragedy. I would venture to guess every person there has a truly tragic story (not a someone brought cupcakes to work but I am trying to eat healthy or Kate Spade has a sale but I'm broke tragedy). Even our new friend Shelly/Michelle said something to the effect of "I just want to get out of this life and I'm going to soon."
Of course, me being me, I just kept thinking the whole time we were there how not bringing Kate (my purse - as in Spade) to the bar tonight was a good idea...and how I couldn't wait to get home to wash my hands.
By the way, universe, when I complained in an earlier blog post about not finding my Robert Scorpio, it did not mean send a short, drunk dude named Bob my way at the local dive bar. But thanks anyway.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Cupcakes, shopping and wine
Remember the old school cartoons where a character had a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on each shoulder when faced with a dilemma? Lately I feel as though my own little angel and devil have been at war.
Let me paint the picture: My little angel is running in place on my shoulder, decked out for a run after putting in a ten hour work day. Her grocery bags are full of organic food, she flosses daily and her bank account has more the $50 because she is living within her means. She's a good girl.
Then there's my little devil. She isn't so little - in fact, she's overweight because she is sitting on her couch drinking wine, shopping online and watching (you guessed it) too much General Hospital on You Tube. She has a new Kate Spade purse on her arm, a cupcake in her mouth, a glow to her face because she just got an Aveda facial and she's totally up to speed on the current "Days of our Lives" story line. She's simply ridiculous. And broke.
I want Angel Jen to win the ongoing tug of war, but it isn't easy. Today alone was fraught with temptation.
It all started when Kate Spade emailed my work account at 3 a.m. announcing a one day only up to 75 percent off sale. 75 percent off. Kate Spade.
Normally, Devil Jen would be all over this. However, last week Devil Jen - celebrating the hard work of Angel Jen's weight loss (100 pounds lost, baby!) - spent way too much money and essentially bought a new wardrobe. Seriously, while checking out at Marshall's, the clerk asked me/Devil Jen where I'm/we're vacationing. I sort of choked (while Devil Jen totally did her evil laugh) because, well, there are no official non-work travel dates on the calendar yet, and then lied (Devil Jen wins again - damn her!).
Marshall's was just one place Devil Jen/I hit on her/our binge - she/we dropped some serious cash at Banana Republic and at loft.com. Wiggy told me I have a problem. Given her penchant for spending I think she may be right. So, even though I got paid on Friday and 75 percent off anything Kate Spade is a bargain, Angel Jen prevailed today. Don't worry, I'm still sort of sweaty and shaky wondering if I missed any good deals but I'll survive. I hope. I'm trying not to drink wine to cope.
It continued when cupcakes from a local bakery made an appearance in the lunch room. Devil Jen loves her some cupcakes. In fact, she/I (we) are cupcake connoisseurs. Seriously. There is junk in our lunch room all the time. Cakes, cookies, crap. It makes it tough to eat healthy when temptation sits next to you while you try to eat non crap. Devil Jen, weary from the Kate Spade battle, probably already feeling a little defeated, easily lost this one to Angel Jen. No cupcake for me. Of course, while running 3.25 miles after work (another win for Angel Jen), I couldn't stop thinking about Magnolia Bakery cupcakes. Thank goodness I can't order those online!
Finally, tonight I have two conference calls for work. I decided to use that time to multi-task and do additional work. If I only work 7.5 hours per day (our "normal" work day - supposedly) I feel like I'm cheating the system. I have so much work to do (and I'm not complaining) that there are never enough hours in the day. Angel Jen won this round too - I'm proud to log a 9.5 hour work day today and I'm rolling in to the office early tomorrow to ensure I do it again, probably sporting the adorable red pants Devil Jen just purchased from Loft to wear on Angel Jen's body.
And I'll probably still be day dreaming of Magnolia Bakery cupcakes...
Let me paint the picture: My little angel is running in place on my shoulder, decked out for a run after putting in a ten hour work day. Her grocery bags are full of organic food, she flosses daily and her bank account has more the $50 because she is living within her means. She's a good girl.
Then there's my little devil. She isn't so little - in fact, she's overweight because she is sitting on her couch drinking wine, shopping online and watching (you guessed it) too much General Hospital on You Tube. She has a new Kate Spade purse on her arm, a cupcake in her mouth, a glow to her face because she just got an Aveda facial and she's totally up to speed on the current "Days of our Lives" story line. She's simply ridiculous. And broke.
I want Angel Jen to win the ongoing tug of war, but it isn't easy. Today alone was fraught with temptation.
It all started when Kate Spade emailed my work account at 3 a.m. announcing a one day only up to 75 percent off sale. 75 percent off. Kate Spade.
Normally, Devil Jen would be all over this. However, last week Devil Jen - celebrating the hard work of Angel Jen's weight loss (100 pounds lost, baby!) - spent way too much money and essentially bought a new wardrobe. Seriously, while checking out at Marshall's, the clerk asked me/Devil Jen where I'm/we're vacationing. I sort of choked (while Devil Jen totally did her evil laugh) because, well, there are no official non-work travel dates on the calendar yet, and then lied (Devil Jen wins again - damn her!).
Marshall's was just one place Devil Jen/I hit on her/our binge - she/we dropped some serious cash at Banana Republic and at loft.com. Wiggy told me I have a problem. Given her penchant for spending I think she may be right. So, even though I got paid on Friday and 75 percent off anything Kate Spade is a bargain, Angel Jen prevailed today. Don't worry, I'm still sort of sweaty and shaky wondering if I missed any good deals but I'll survive. I hope. I'm trying not to drink wine to cope.
It continued when cupcakes from a local bakery made an appearance in the lunch room. Devil Jen loves her some cupcakes. In fact, she/I (we) are cupcake connoisseurs. Seriously. There is junk in our lunch room all the time. Cakes, cookies, crap. It makes it tough to eat healthy when temptation sits next to you while you try to eat non crap. Devil Jen, weary from the Kate Spade battle, probably already feeling a little defeated, easily lost this one to Angel Jen. No cupcake for me. Of course, while running 3.25 miles after work (another win for Angel Jen), I couldn't stop thinking about Magnolia Bakery cupcakes. Thank goodness I can't order those online!
Finally, tonight I have two conference calls for work. I decided to use that time to multi-task and do additional work. If I only work 7.5 hours per day (our "normal" work day - supposedly) I feel like I'm cheating the system. I have so much work to do (and I'm not complaining) that there are never enough hours in the day. Angel Jen won this round too - I'm proud to log a 9.5 hour work day today and I'm rolling in to the office early tomorrow to ensure I do it again, probably sporting the adorable red pants Devil Jen just purchased from Loft to wear on Angel Jen's body.
And I'll probably still be day dreaming of Magnolia Bakery cupcakes...
Friday, December 30, 2011
My holiday letter - 2011 WINNING edition
Yes, I am just like "that friend" who failed to send her Christmas cards and sent New Year's cards instead because I am sharing this year's holiday letter with you after Christmas. In case you are wondering, I did not send Christmas or New Year's cards this year. But hey, at least I'm posting this before the new year! And P.S., my New Year's Resolution is to blog more, pinky swear!
Dear friends and family,
2011. 2011 was the year of Jen. Let's face it, it's all about me 24/7 because, well, who the hell else would it be about? My dog? My cats? Of course not - it's about me. This year, however, was more about me than usual. And (un)like Charlie Sheen, in 2011 I found myself WINNING and, on occasion, felt as though I too had "tiger blood" running through my veins. Ok, ok, no tiger blood. I took that one too far.
I found myself winning both literally and figuratively in 2011. This year I continued my running and surpassed my goal of finishing a half marathon by running three half marathons (including one to Canada and back!) and a 25k (that's 15.5 miles for you non-runners). All this running improved my physical and mental health. Im pleased to say I can once again shop at my holy trinity (J Crew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor/Loft) and, let me you, I am a frequent customer. My credit card is not winning thanks to all the shopping but sorry, all my clothes were too big! I've longed for this problem for years. Now this is winning!
I lived out two childhood dreams in 2011. One involved a visit to a little place called The Magic Kingdom (more about that later) and the second a bit more obscure....I saw Wilson Phillips live in concert. Yes, the "Hold On" 90s girl group with those wicked harmonies. I love Wilson Phillips and their concert was everything 13 year old "Jenny" (call me that and die) imagined it would be. Totally winning!
Professionally, things couldn't be better. I'm a part of a national leadership development program, won two awards, got a promotion and am poised for bigger and better things in 2012. Most importantly, I truly love my job. Literally winning!
Sure, 2011 had some low points...finding a used condom in my yard, finding my basement flooded with sewage, chaining my air conditioning unit to the house for fear it would be stolen, countless flat tires, discovering my employer failed to take out the correct taxes for the city in which I reside, resulting in me owing over a THOUSAND dollars to said city (don't even get me started on this)...but hey, that's life! This year the good completely outweighed the bad.
I love to travel, and even though I'm still mad at Delta for breaking a wheel off a brand new piece of luggage at BWI this September, I enjoyed my travels. This year I made it to Atlanta (3 times), DC (twice), Chicago, Indiana (more times than I care to discuss but since I ran a half marathon in Indy I felt the need to mention it), New Orleans (where I got to be very American and celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden), New York (where I may have seen Jay Z....in his house) and Orlando (I am a Disney virgin no more! And yes, I was that creepy childless adult at Disney World hugging the characters).
Yes, I'm still childless...and single. And guess what? I'm ok with it! I may even marry myself in 2012. After all, I still need some basic home goods. Seriously, I just got my first crock pot. I'm 34. Why? Because I've never had a wedding shower to get one. I still need a toaster and toaster oven, a mixer and some more Kate Spade fine china. Plus, the last of my single friends are getting married next year and I'm feeling left out so yeah, I will probably marry myself next year just for the gifts. If that isn't WINNING I don't know what is.
Yes, I was WINNING in 2011 and I'm going to do everything I can to keep it going in 2012...even though I realize the whole "winning" thing is totally an out of date reference.
Happy New Year!
Jen
Dear friends and family,
2011. 2011 was the year of Jen. Let's face it, it's all about me 24/7 because, well, who the hell else would it be about? My dog? My cats? Of course not - it's about me. This year, however, was more about me than usual. And (un)like Charlie Sheen, in 2011 I found myself WINNING and, on occasion, felt as though I too had "tiger blood" running through my veins. Ok, ok, no tiger blood. I took that one too far.
I found myself winning both literally and figuratively in 2011. This year I continued my running and surpassed my goal of finishing a half marathon by running three half marathons (including one to Canada and back!) and a 25k (that's 15.5 miles for you non-runners). All this running improved my physical and mental health. Im pleased to say I can once again shop at my holy trinity (J Crew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor/Loft) and, let me you, I am a frequent customer. My credit card is not winning thanks to all the shopping but sorry, all my clothes were too big! I've longed for this problem for years. Now this is winning!
I lived out two childhood dreams in 2011. One involved a visit to a little place called The Magic Kingdom (more about that later) and the second a bit more obscure....I saw Wilson Phillips live in concert. Yes, the "Hold On" 90s girl group with those wicked harmonies. I love Wilson Phillips and their concert was everything 13 year old "Jenny" (call me that and die) imagined it would be. Totally winning!
Professionally, things couldn't be better. I'm a part of a national leadership development program, won two awards, got a promotion and am poised for bigger and better things in 2012. Most importantly, I truly love my job. Literally winning!
Sure, 2011 had some low points...finding a used condom in my yard, finding my basement flooded with sewage, chaining my air conditioning unit to the house for fear it would be stolen, countless flat tires, discovering my employer failed to take out the correct taxes for the city in which I reside, resulting in me owing over a THOUSAND dollars to said city (don't even get me started on this)...but hey, that's life! This year the good completely outweighed the bad.
I love to travel, and even though I'm still mad at Delta for breaking a wheel off a brand new piece of luggage at BWI this September, I enjoyed my travels. This year I made it to Atlanta (3 times), DC (twice), Chicago, Indiana (more times than I care to discuss but since I ran a half marathon in Indy I felt the need to mention it), New Orleans (where I got to be very American and celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden), New York (where I may have seen Jay Z....in his house) and Orlando (I am a Disney virgin no more! And yes, I was that creepy childless adult at Disney World hugging the characters).
Yes, I'm still childless...and single. And guess what? I'm ok with it! I may even marry myself in 2012. After all, I still need some basic home goods. Seriously, I just got my first crock pot. I'm 34. Why? Because I've never had a wedding shower to get one. I still need a toaster and toaster oven, a mixer and some more Kate Spade fine china. Plus, the last of my single friends are getting married next year and I'm feeling left out so yeah, I will probably marry myself next year just for the gifts. If that isn't WINNING I don't know what is.
Yes, I was WINNING in 2011 and I'm going to do everything I can to keep it going in 2012...even though I realize the whole "winning" thing is totally an out of date reference.
Happy New Year!
Jen
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My Holiday Letter - 2010 edition
It's that time of year! People have been asking me when I planned to post the 2010 edition of my holiday letter...and since I received only one holiday letter this year (clearly, last year's online holiday letter offended some!), I didn't have the inspiration I needed....until I received a BBM from Wiggy at 7 a.m. yesterday asking what time is "too early" to drink wine because the only beverage in her home that sounded appealing (at 7 a.m. if I failed to mention this) was Moscato. In Wiggy's world, it's always time for wine and wine does help the ink flow out of the pen (or in this case, the fingers hit the keys)...so here goes:
Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas! This year I decided to stop saying "Happy Holidays" - not sure why, I haven't become uberCatholic or anything (though recently in a drunken state I allegedly said, "All people who aren't Catholic are crazy" - oops - I didn't really mean that....I believe some people who aren't Catholic are crazy), but I celebrate Christmas, as do most of my friends, so, Merry Christmas.
This year I took up running and am sitting on the couch right now nursing a random pain in my ankle. All the little veins in my foot are bulging out...I don't think this is a good so I am going to take it as a sign to not run today and to drink more wine. This running thing has been great for me! I weigh less (running burns major calories!), cry less (endorphins!) and...I drink less (except for today apparently). All true, really, I mean it. In fact, this year I ran six 5ks, a10k and am gearing up for a half marathon in Atlanta in March of 2011.
Work cut back on travel a bit this year but that didn't stop me from traveling the entire freaking state of Indiana (by car, with colleagues - something I would not recommend) as well as air travel to Salt Lake City (where my colleague/friend kept yelling "Sister Wife" as we wandered the grounds of the Mormon Temple...I totally thought the Mormon Secret Service was going to nab us for that!), New York City (I only spent 1.5 days there but made the most of every second I didn't have to work), Atlanta (where my "Sister Wife" yelling colleague/friend and I were almost the victims of a mugging), Houston (Texas - never been a fan, sorry), Washington, D.C. (where I finally made it to the Newseum) and, of course, my not so glorious return to Missouri, where I escaped accident free and got to see my dear friend Emily!
While in Atlanta I fell in love...no, not with Usher or some rapper....with a handbag. Yes, Kate Spade's Bow Regard Maryanne. Unfortunately, she's way out of my price range, especially after the events of recent days which leads me to update you on....
My "children." I would prefer not to discuss them at this moment but, what the hell. Lucy and LuLu decided ('cause they totally did this on purpose) to get sick with completely different cat sicknesses and in the last three weeks I have spent just over $1,000 at the vet. Yes, you read that correctly - $1k. I could have purchased two and half Bow Regard Maryannes for that!! And then there's Gracie - my happy go-lucky German Shepherd. Crime is up in the 'hood (I promise to give you a year end crime summary for the one mile radius around my house....and by the way, if you ever need crack I can tell you exactly where to go!) so I am thankful my dog looks menacing but let me tell you, if someone broke in the house she'd just jump on them and kiss them.
This year more friends got married, got engaged, got knocked up, opted to live in sin (oops - crazy Catholic emerging again) and I stayed single and not knocked up (and most certainly any sins I committed did not involve co-habitation). I'm convinced there are no normal single men out there, so I intend to stay single because I refuse to affix myself to some socially inept freak with a GED who makes $25,000 per year. Do you think I am joking? Go to match.com and try, just try, to find a single man over 30 with a Bachelor's degree or higher - THEY'RE NOT THERE because they're all married already! Not to mention, $25,000 per year is not enough to support my Kate Spade habit! Speaking of living single, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring some Michigan nuns and had a fleeting thought of joining them because I bet American Express would forgive my mounting credit card debt if I were a nun (crazy Catholic or shrewd financial move?) but when I saw footage of them "marrying" Jesus I decided to chuck that idea. (Seriously, they "marry" Jesus?? How have I been a lifelong Catholic and not realized? It creeps me out. Sorry, sisters, it just does).
Once again this year I managed to not step foot in a Toys R' Us, Target or any other store that sells "hot toys" this holiday season (I am sure "hot toys" are sold in my 'hood but they're a different type of "hot" if you know what I mean and, get your mind out of the gutter, by "hot" I mean stolen!). The local news said today will be the second busiest shopping day of the year after Black Friday so best of luck to you if you still have shopping to do - I am curled up with my Winter White wine from Leelenau Cellars, my "fireplace" is on (it's fake but whatever) and my $1,000 cats and crazy dog are curled up nearby. While some homes will be buzzing with children running around screaming and hopped up on candy it will be a silent night at casa de Jen. The single life is STILL all it's cracked up to be!
Love you and MERRY CHRISTMAS! -Jen
Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas! This year I decided to stop saying "Happy Holidays" - not sure why, I haven't become uberCatholic or anything (though recently in a drunken state I allegedly said, "All people who aren't Catholic are crazy" - oops - I didn't really mean that....I believe some people who aren't Catholic are crazy), but I celebrate Christmas, as do most of my friends, so, Merry Christmas.
This year I took up running and am sitting on the couch right now nursing a random pain in my ankle. All the little veins in my foot are bulging out...I don't think this is a good so I am going to take it as a sign to not run today and to drink more wine. This running thing has been great for me! I weigh less (running burns major calories!), cry less (endorphins!) and...I drink less (except for today apparently). All true, really, I mean it. In fact, this year I ran six 5ks, a10k and am gearing up for a half marathon in Atlanta in March of 2011.
Work cut back on travel a bit this year but that didn't stop me from traveling the entire freaking state of Indiana (by car, with colleagues - something I would not recommend) as well as air travel to Salt Lake City (where my colleague/friend kept yelling "Sister Wife" as we wandered the grounds of the Mormon Temple...I totally thought the Mormon Secret Service was going to nab us for that!), New York City (I only spent 1.5 days there but made the most of every second I didn't have to work), Atlanta (where my "Sister Wife" yelling colleague/friend and I were almost the victims of a mugging), Houston (Texas - never been a fan, sorry), Washington, D.C. (where I finally made it to the Newseum) and, of course, my not so glorious return to Missouri, where I escaped accident free and got to see my dear friend Emily!
While in Atlanta I fell in love...no, not with Usher or some rapper....with a handbag. Yes, Kate Spade's Bow Regard Maryanne. Unfortunately, she's way out of my price range, especially after the events of recent days which leads me to update you on....
My "children." I would prefer not to discuss them at this moment but, what the hell. Lucy and LuLu decided ('cause they totally did this on purpose) to get sick with completely different cat sicknesses and in the last three weeks I have spent just over $1,000 at the vet. Yes, you read that correctly - $1k. I could have purchased two and half Bow Regard Maryannes for that!! And then there's Gracie - my happy go-lucky German Shepherd. Crime is up in the 'hood (I promise to give you a year end crime summary for the one mile radius around my house....and by the way, if you ever need crack I can tell you exactly where to go!) so I am thankful my dog looks menacing but let me tell you, if someone broke in the house she'd just jump on them and kiss them.
This year more friends got married, got engaged, got knocked up, opted to live in sin (oops - crazy Catholic emerging again) and I stayed single and not knocked up (and most certainly any sins I committed did not involve co-habitation). I'm convinced there are no normal single men out there, so I intend to stay single because I refuse to affix myself to some socially inept freak with a GED who makes $25,000 per year. Do you think I am joking? Go to match.com and try, just try, to find a single man over 30 with a Bachelor's degree or higher - THEY'RE NOT THERE because they're all married already! Not to mention, $25,000 per year is not enough to support my Kate Spade habit! Speaking of living single, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring some Michigan nuns and had a fleeting thought of joining them because I bet American Express would forgive my mounting credit card debt if I were a nun (crazy Catholic or shrewd financial move?) but when I saw footage of them "marrying" Jesus I decided to chuck that idea. (Seriously, they "marry" Jesus?? How have I been a lifelong Catholic and not realized? It creeps me out. Sorry, sisters, it just does).
Once again this year I managed to not step foot in a Toys R' Us, Target or any other store that sells "hot toys" this holiday season (I am sure "hot toys" are sold in my 'hood but they're a different type of "hot" if you know what I mean and, get your mind out of the gutter, by "hot" I mean stolen!). The local news said today will be the second busiest shopping day of the year after Black Friday so best of luck to you if you still have shopping to do - I am curled up with my Winter White wine from Leelenau Cellars, my "fireplace" is on (it's fake but whatever) and my $1,000 cats and crazy dog are curled up nearby. While some homes will be buzzing with children running around screaming and hopped up on candy it will be a silent night at casa de Jen. The single life is STILL all it's cracked up to be!
Love you and MERRY CHRISTMAS! -Jen
Friday, August 6, 2010
I can't help falling in love with you!
I met my new love interest in Atlanta a mere two weeks ago while shopping at Lenox Square.
I saw my new love again at The Galleria in Houston a few days after our initial encounter.
Since that time, I cannot get the object of my affection off my mind.
I haven't felt this way in awhile.
Meet my new love...
....Bow Regard Maryanne
Oh, Kate Spade...you did it again!
I know I am sick. But let's look at Bow Regard Maryanne from another view:
Isn't she lovely?
The metallic leather! The gold dot interior! That bow! That handle! Oh my!
When we first met in Atlanta it was difficult for me to leave her in the store. She looked perfect on my arm. Like we were meant to be. I think I actually heard her calling my name as I sadly left the store.
Alas, I do not have $445 to splurge on her. I mean, American Express could pay for it but then I would just end up paying off Bow Regard Maryanne for the next ten years.
Wait, I just realized that is almost the exact same amount of cash I plunked down at the vet to nurse Gracie back to health. Cruel joke, universe, cruel joke.
However, I must say, I haven't felt this way about a Kate Spade bag in awhile.
Damn you, Kate, for making such beautiful handbags!!
I saw my new love again at The Galleria in Houston a few days after our initial encounter.
Since that time, I cannot get the object of my affection off my mind.
I haven't felt this way in awhile.
Meet my new love...
....Bow Regard Maryanne
Oh, Kate Spade...you did it again!
I know I am sick. But let's look at Bow Regard Maryanne from another view:
Isn't she lovely?
The metallic leather! The gold dot interior! That bow! That handle! Oh my!
When we first met in Atlanta it was difficult for me to leave her in the store. She looked perfect on my arm. Like we were meant to be. I think I actually heard her calling my name as I sadly left the store.
Alas, I do not have $445 to splurge on her. I mean, American Express could pay for it but then I would just end up paying off Bow Regard Maryanne for the next ten years.
Wait, I just realized that is almost the exact same amount of cash I plunked down at the vet to nurse Gracie back to health. Cruel joke, universe, cruel joke.
However, I must say, I haven't felt this way about a Kate Spade bag in awhile.
Damn you, Kate, for making such beautiful handbags!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
What goes around comes around
It was like a message from above.
I got it in my head to go to this new Goodwill store that opened super close to the hometown of Amway International. In other words, a Goodwill where the wealthy of my area are likely to drop off their unwanted goods.
Let me say - I only go to Goodwill to donate. I may be sort of broke but I am also sort of a snob. I'd rather by designer shoes on clearance than wonder whose feet have been in my shoes! OK, I did shop Goodwill once in college - but it was to buy clothes for this night of fun with my sorority where we dressed our big sisters up in crazy clothes, took them to the bar and got them drunk. In this day and age it would be called "hazing" but in my day it was good, clean, old fashioned fun! I digress....
I am looking for a cheap bookshelf for my basement because my bookshelves are overflowing (oh, if I only had a Kindle!). Something just told me "Go to Goodwill!" So, I picked up one of my city dwelling friends and we trekked out to the 'burbs.
Goodwill's furniture selection was pitiful and the whole place smelled like dust. I was so not impressed. My friend always manages to find something at Goodwill and she had found a really cute skirt for $3.
While waiting for her to check out, my gaze turned to the one locked glass cabinet in the store. It had some cheap jewelry so I wondered why they even bother when something on the very bottom shelf caught my eye.
Earlier this week I told you I can spot a fake Kate a mile away. Even with the glass between us I knew this was no fake.
This is Classic Noel Brown Bea clutch with the 14K plated KS emblem! Complete with dust bag! When this line came out with the KS emblems I was soooo tempted to buy one but I held back. Also, I don't have enough brown in my handbag collection and you know how I feel about the color red, so I've been admiring this particular pattern for some time.
This one is gently used (I call it vintage) and let me tell you, Goodwill would have been better off selling this sucker on E Bay because they could have gotten double, maybe triple what they were asking for in the store but too bad...I snatched it up! I must admit, I do feel a tad guilty practically stealing from this charity. I suppose it was pure profit for them. Still....maybe I need to offer my services to help them price their gently used high end handbags?
In the end I didn't get a bookshelf...and I still really need one...and would have been better off putting the cash I spent on this bag toward a bookshelf....my books won't fit in this bag but it will look so cute with these brand new KORS Michael Kors boots I picked up last week (don't worry - they were on clearance)!
I got it in my head to go to this new Goodwill store that opened super close to the hometown of Amway International. In other words, a Goodwill where the wealthy of my area are likely to drop off their unwanted goods.
Let me say - I only go to Goodwill to donate. I may be sort of broke but I am also sort of a snob. I'd rather by designer shoes on clearance than wonder whose feet have been in my shoes! OK, I did shop Goodwill once in college - but it was to buy clothes for this night of fun with my sorority where we dressed our big sisters up in crazy clothes, took them to the bar and got them drunk. In this day and age it would be called "hazing" but in my day it was good, clean, old fashioned fun! I digress....
I am looking for a cheap bookshelf for my basement because my bookshelves are overflowing (oh, if I only had a Kindle!). Something just told me "Go to Goodwill!" So, I picked up one of my city dwelling friends and we trekked out to the 'burbs.
Goodwill's furniture selection was pitiful and the whole place smelled like dust. I was so not impressed. My friend always manages to find something at Goodwill and she had found a really cute skirt for $3.
While waiting for her to check out, my gaze turned to the one locked glass cabinet in the store. It had some cheap jewelry so I wondered why they even bother when something on the very bottom shelf caught my eye.
Earlier this week I told you I can spot a fake Kate a mile away. Even with the glass between us I knew this was no fake.
This is Classic Noel Brown Bea clutch with the 14K plated KS emblem! Complete with dust bag! When this line came out with the KS emblems I was soooo tempted to buy one but I held back. Also, I don't have enough brown in my handbag collection and you know how I feel about the color red, so I've been admiring this particular pattern for some time.
This one is gently used (I call it vintage) and let me tell you, Goodwill would have been better off selling this sucker on E Bay because they could have gotten double, maybe triple what they were asking for in the store but too bad...I snatched it up! I must admit, I do feel a tad guilty practically stealing from this charity. I suppose it was pure profit for them. Still....maybe I need to offer my services to help them price their gently used high end handbags?
In the end I didn't get a bookshelf...and I still really need one...and would have been better off putting the cash I spent on this bag toward a bookshelf....my books won't fit in this bag but it will look so cute with these brand new KORS Michael Kors boots I picked up last week (don't worry - they were on clearance)!
Friday, January 22, 2010
To Kate or not to Kate? I can't believe it was even a question.
Those who know me best know I have a slight obsession with all things Kate Spade.
I own many Kate Spade items, including but not limited to: flip flops, sunglasses (3 pairs), wallets (two), business card holders, pencil cases, calendars (past and present), jewelry, stemware (Larabee Dot - LOVE IT), fine China and, of course, handbags. Lots and lots of handbags.
I am not talking that cheap crap from Chinatown. Give me some credit - I can spot a fake Kate a mile away.
There was an incident at Marshall Fields a few years ago that best highlights how I truly feel about Kate Spade handbags.
I was there with a friend, way across from the handbag section in the fragrance section when my Kate Spade radar picked up on something new. I spotted IT! IT was at least 30 feet away but, I zoomed in as though I was looking through binoculars. A bag I had been drooling over on her web site was sitting there - - live and in person at my local Marshall Fields. I shouted "There it is!" (For real. Out loud. To no one and everyone around me, I guess) and darted across the store, leaving my friend in the dust. I was a woman possessed. By the time my friend made her way to the handbag department like a not deranged person, I had already snatched the bag off the shelf, proceeded to the checkout counter and was signing the charge slip ("Yes, I WILL be putting this on my Marshall Fields charge, thank you!").
Ah, those were the days.
I recently found myself at Nordstrom, in search of the perfect suit to meet the Governor of Michigan for a work thing earlier this week.
Because of mylove obsession with Kate Spade purses I just had to stop by the handbag department while in the store.
Why does an alcoholic go to the bar? Is it a test of will? Self-torture? To get to the other side? All of the above?
On the sale table I spotted a beautiful red tote from Kate's Gramercy Park collection. Did I ever mention red is my favorite color? I picked it up, positioned it lovingly on my arm and ran to the mirror to admire how cute I looked. Then I got that rush that only a new Kate Spade bag on my arm (or new KS sunglasses on my face) can give me. It's amazing how a handbag can make me feel like a million dollars! Then I looked at the price tag. It wasn't a million dollars, but it might as well have been. It was on clearance....clearance price - a bargain $225.
The old me would have charged it and forgotten about it. A year later I would bitch about the balance on my credit card and wonder what the hell I had spent my money on. The new me is still paying for Kate Spade bags of shopping trips past charged to my American Express.
As new me admired the red Gramercy Park tote, I remembered how I nearly cried when my December heat bill arrived earlier that week and how it was about the price of said handbag...I realized I cannot afford this purchase because hell, I can barely afford the outrageous heat bill.
I sat the beautiful tote back on the sale table and got a little choked up. I slowly walked away fighting back the tears....sad that the Gramercy Park tote and I had crossed paths but that our time together was fleeting.
I am sure said tote will go to a good home. It's all for the best, I guess. She probably belongs with someone who can afford to pay for her AND their heat bill...or someone who doesn't mind paying her off for years to come thanks to their friends at Visa, CitiCards, AmEx, etc.
P.S. My two year old Gramercy Park Stevie bag looked fabulous with my new pink and black suit, making me feel like a million bucks at the event with the Gov. A tote would not have been a good choice for such an event and the red totally would have clashed anyway. What's the point of a new expensive purse if you can't show it off, right?
I own many Kate Spade items, including but not limited to: flip flops, sunglasses (3 pairs), wallets (two), business card holders, pencil cases, calendars (past and present), jewelry, stemware (Larabee Dot - LOVE IT), fine China and, of course, handbags. Lots and lots of handbags.
I am not talking that cheap crap from Chinatown. Give me some credit - I can spot a fake Kate a mile away.
There was an incident at Marshall Fields a few years ago that best highlights how I truly feel about Kate Spade handbags.
I was there with a friend, way across from the handbag section in the fragrance section when my Kate Spade radar picked up on something new. I spotted IT! IT was at least 30 feet away but, I zoomed in as though I was looking through binoculars. A bag I had been drooling over on her web site was sitting there - - live and in person at my local Marshall Fields. I shouted "There it is!" (For real. Out loud. To no one and everyone around me, I guess) and darted across the store, leaving my friend in the dust. I was a woman possessed. By the time my friend made her way to the handbag department like a not deranged person, I had already snatched the bag off the shelf, proceeded to the checkout counter and was signing the charge slip ("Yes, I WILL be putting this on my Marshall Fields charge, thank you!").
Ah, those were the days.
I recently found myself at Nordstrom, in search of the perfect suit to meet the Governor of Michigan for a work thing earlier this week.
Because of my
Why does an alcoholic go to the bar? Is it a test of will? Self-torture? To get to the other side? All of the above?
On the sale table I spotted a beautiful red tote from Kate's Gramercy Park collection. Did I ever mention red is my favorite color? I picked it up, positioned it lovingly on my arm and ran to the mirror to admire how cute I looked. Then I got that rush that only a new Kate Spade bag on my arm (or new KS sunglasses on my face) can give me. It's amazing how a handbag can make me feel like a million dollars! Then I looked at the price tag. It wasn't a million dollars, but it might as well have been. It was on clearance....clearance price - a bargain $225.
The old me would have charged it and forgotten about it. A year later I would bitch about the balance on my credit card and wonder what the hell I had spent my money on. The new me is still paying for Kate Spade bags of shopping trips past charged to my American Express.
As new me admired the red Gramercy Park tote, I remembered how I nearly cried when my December heat bill arrived earlier that week and how it was about the price of said handbag...I realized I cannot afford this purchase because hell, I can barely afford the outrageous heat bill.
I sat the beautiful tote back on the sale table and got a little choked up. I slowly walked away fighting back the tears....sad that the Gramercy Park tote and I had crossed paths but that our time together was fleeting.
I am sure said tote will go to a good home. It's all for the best, I guess. She probably belongs with someone who can afford to pay for her AND their heat bill...or someone who doesn't mind paying her off for years to come thanks to their friends at Visa, CitiCards, AmEx, etc.
P.S. My two year old Gramercy Park Stevie bag looked fabulous with my new pink and black suit, making me feel like a million bucks at the event with the Gov. A tote would not have been a good choice for such an event and the red totally would have clashed anyway. What's the point of a new expensive purse if you can't show it off, right?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
My Holiday Letter
I've been reading all those holiday letters that accompany Christmas cards (I didn't even send Christmas cards this year) and it got me thinking what my holiday letter would look like this year....
Dear Family and Friends,
I hope this letter finds you happy and healthy. As I type this, I am polishing off a bottle of Two Buck Chuck (Merlot - I went for the heavy stuff) so I am feeling just dandy! My fingers and lips are a little tingly - but this shouldn't take too long!
Despite my yo-yo dieting and acid reflux, I am a happy and healthy thirtysomething. Seriously, my doctor told me I have "A+" cholesterol...I am not sure why she seemed so surprised as she said it but whatever.
2009 started off wonderfully with a fun night out with my friends at our favorite local dive bar (Kale's Korner). That night we met a midget (don't ask) who introduced us to these fabulous Kale's specialty drinks called the Orange Kiss and Purple Kiss and well, our lives haven't been the same since. We enjoy these drinks (available as a shot or a mixed drink) regularly now and this really has enriched our lives at the bar. We're regulars there but we also frequent the Birch Lodge, Logan's Alley, Republic/Rockwells, the BOB (reluctantly), Kopper Top...ok, you get my drift.
I saw several concerts this year including Counting Crows, Madonna (that bitch was three hours LATE for her own concert), Jimmy Buffett (as usual) and Rascal Flatts. Additionally, I reluctantly participated in stalking a celebrity while in New York City.
I traveled quite a bit for work: Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, Washington, D.C....I know I am missing some others in there. Since my local airport parking situation has been "under construction" (read new parking ramp being built that will result in more expensive parking fees) I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed getting to the airport HOURS early for these trips to catch the shuttle to the terminal! Twice, in fact, I had to literally run after the shuttle after it passed me by. It was really special. Thankfully, since I know people everywhere (practically) I used those trips to catch up with friends. In addition to seeing my friend Ashley in Dallas I also discovered that airport has a wine bar where you can actually taste wine on a layover or while waiting for a flight - who knew?
My "children" also keep me busy. Lucy is now 8, LuLu is 5 and Gracie is a busy body at 2.5 years. Not too much new to report about Lucy and LuLu...I mean, they're cats. They eat, sleep and poop. And run away from Gracie. Speaking of Gracie, she's just a...little angel. This year she managed to eat the television remote control, a hardcover copy of "Marley and Me" and...well, she almost ate a neighborhood Chiuaua. So, I enrolled my little angel in "special ed" and after eight weeks of classes (for what I spent on those damn classes I could have bought a new Kate Spade purse) she is marginally better than she was before.
Being a homeowner keeps me busy too. As a single woman, being a homeowner is....special. I live for Thursday nights when I get to take out the trash - as well as Sundays in the non-winter months when I get to mow the lawn! Oh, the joy! Oh, and don't get me started on how much I love shoveling feet of snow off my sidewalk and driveway as the asshole with the snowthrower two doors down only clears his little section of the sidewalk. Pure joy, I tell you, pure joy!
I wish all of you the best this holiday season. Best of luck with your holiday shopping. Personally, I am thrilled I don't have brave Toys R Us or similiar stores in search of a Zhu Zhu pet or the like. Good luck with that. I am going to curl up with my "cocoa" (fresh bottle of wine), pop in a DVD of "Sex and the City" or maybe my life story "Bridget Jones's Diary," drunk dial some friends and Facebook on my BlackBerry. The single life IS all it's cracked up to be!
Your friend,
Jen
Dear Family and Friends,
I hope this letter finds you happy and healthy. As I type this, I am polishing off a bottle of Two Buck Chuck (Merlot - I went for the heavy stuff) so I am feeling just dandy! My fingers and lips are a little tingly - but this shouldn't take too long!
Despite my yo-yo dieting and acid reflux, I am a happy and healthy thirtysomething. Seriously, my doctor told me I have "A+" cholesterol...I am not sure why she seemed so surprised as she said it but whatever.
2009 started off wonderfully with a fun night out with my friends at our favorite local dive bar (Kale's Korner). That night we met a midget (don't ask) who introduced us to these fabulous Kale's specialty drinks called the Orange Kiss and Purple Kiss and well, our lives haven't been the same since. We enjoy these drinks (available as a shot or a mixed drink) regularly now and this really has enriched our lives at the bar. We're regulars there but we also frequent the Birch Lodge, Logan's Alley, Republic/Rockwells, the BOB (reluctantly), Kopper Top...ok, you get my drift.
I saw several concerts this year including Counting Crows, Madonna (that bitch was three hours LATE for her own concert), Jimmy Buffett (as usual) and Rascal Flatts. Additionally, I reluctantly participated in stalking a celebrity while in New York City.
I traveled quite a bit for work: Atlanta, Dallas, Denver, Washington, D.C....I know I am missing some others in there. Since my local airport parking situation has been "under construction" (read new parking ramp being built that will result in more expensive parking fees) I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed getting to the airport HOURS early for these trips to catch the shuttle to the terminal! Twice, in fact, I had to literally run after the shuttle after it passed me by. It was really special. Thankfully, since I know people everywhere (practically) I used those trips to catch up with friends. In addition to seeing my friend Ashley in Dallas I also discovered that airport has a wine bar where you can actually taste wine on a layover or while waiting for a flight - who knew?
My "children" also keep me busy. Lucy is now 8, LuLu is 5 and Gracie is a busy body at 2.5 years. Not too much new to report about Lucy and LuLu...I mean, they're cats. They eat, sleep and poop. And run away from Gracie. Speaking of Gracie, she's just a...little angel. This year she managed to eat the television remote control, a hardcover copy of "Marley and Me" and...well, she almost ate a neighborhood Chiuaua. So, I enrolled my little angel in "special ed" and after eight weeks of classes (for what I spent on those damn classes I could have bought a new Kate Spade purse) she is marginally better than she was before.
Being a homeowner keeps me busy too. As a single woman, being a homeowner is....special. I live for Thursday nights when I get to take out the trash - as well as Sundays in the non-winter months when I get to mow the lawn! Oh, the joy! Oh, and don't get me started on how much I love shoveling feet of snow off my sidewalk and driveway as the asshole with the snowthrower two doors down only clears his little section of the sidewalk. Pure joy, I tell you, pure joy!
I wish all of you the best this holiday season. Best of luck with your holiday shopping. Personally, I am thrilled I don't have brave Toys R Us or similiar stores in search of a Zhu Zhu pet or the like. Good luck with that. I am going to curl up with my "cocoa" (fresh bottle of wine), pop in a DVD of "Sex and the City" or maybe my life story "Bridget Jones's Diary," drunk dial some friends and Facebook on my BlackBerry. The single life IS all it's cracked up to be!
Your friend,
Jen
Sunday, December 20, 2009
A picture is worth a thousand words
If I were really fabulous, I would not hang out at a place like Kale's Korner.
Kale's (I pronounce it Cal's because apparently my water-downed Michigan accent won't let me say "Kale's") is a dive bar about 8 blocks from my house. They have karaoke on Saturday nights so that is usually when you will find me and my crew there. And every time we go, there's something interesting happening....
I could tell you many interesting stories of people we've seen and things we've witnessed, but I'll let the photos do the talking.
What is wrong with this photo?
Kale's (I pronounce it Cal's because apparently my water-downed Michigan accent won't let me say "Kale's") is a dive bar about 8 blocks from my house. They have karaoke on Saturday nights so that is usually when you will find me and my crew there. And every time we go, there's something interesting happening....
I could tell you many interesting stories of people we've seen and things we've witnessed, but I'll let the photos do the talking.
What is wrong with this photo?
Or this one? This woman is flat ironing another woman's hair. At the bar. Because she just "didn't have time" to do if before she left. If you had ever been to Kale's you would know how absurd this is since there is never a line to get in!
A bus load of drunken Santas and slutty elves:
A slutty elf accosting a guy she did not know while he karaoked:
Dude, it's 15 degrees out!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Parents say the darndest things
Lately I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with my parents. Since my dad was diagnosed with cancer in late July I've compensated for living across the state by calling...constantly.
Now that my mom and dad are my phone buddies I realize they say the funniest things. You can only talk about blood counts and chemo so much!
My mom believes the root of all evil in the world is text messaging. Actually, text messaging while driving. She'll tell me the story about someone who cut her off in traffic ("He was probably texting.")....someone who was driving too slow ("I know she was texting.")....driving too fast ("You know he was texting.")....a bad accident on the 5 p.m. news ("The reporter didn't say it but I am sure the driver was texting.") etc. I don't know when she made the decision that texting while driving is the cause of all accidents and traffic jams! It may be that she recently learned the word "texting" and wants to use it in daily vocabulary as not to forget it? Who knows!
My dad, on the other hand, likes to tell me stories about the dog, the Detroit Tigers and cars. Somehow the subject of my car came up. Since I am "broke" I drive a 2004 Sebring with 107,890 miles and counting. I was checking the mail while talking to him and got really excited about the latest hand-written note I received from the salesgirl at the Troy, Mich. Kate Spade store.
He quipped, "You drive a car with 100,000 miles on it but you receive personal notes from salesgirls who sell $300 purses?!?"
Hello, dad! Cars are great and all but let's be real - more people see my handbags than my car so I need to carry good ones. Plus, if Kate Spade had low interest financing I would totally own the entire winter line. Plus stemware....and shoes...and I love the new jewelry too. Since I rely on American Express to finance said purchases I have to be conservative in my shopping. After all, failure to regulate my "Kate compulsion" is what landed me in credit card debt to begin with!
Now that my mom and dad are my phone buddies I realize they say the funniest things. You can only talk about blood counts and chemo so much!
My mom believes the root of all evil in the world is text messaging. Actually, text messaging while driving. She'll tell me the story about someone who cut her off in traffic ("He was probably texting.")....someone who was driving too slow ("I know she was texting.")....driving too fast ("You know he was texting.")....a bad accident on the 5 p.m. news ("The reporter didn't say it but I am sure the driver was texting.") etc. I don't know when she made the decision that texting while driving is the cause of all accidents and traffic jams! It may be that she recently learned the word "texting" and wants to use it in daily vocabulary as not to forget it? Who knows!
My dad, on the other hand, likes to tell me stories about the dog, the Detroit Tigers and cars. Somehow the subject of my car came up. Since I am "broke" I drive a 2004 Sebring with 107,890 miles and counting. I was checking the mail while talking to him and got really excited about the latest hand-written note I received from the salesgirl at the Troy, Mich. Kate Spade store.
Hello, dad! Cars are great and all but let's be real - more people see my handbags than my car so I need to carry good ones. Plus, if Kate Spade had low interest financing I would totally own the entire winter line. Plus stemware....and shoes...and I love the new jewelry too. Since I rely on American Express to finance said purchases I have to be conservative in my shopping. After all, failure to regulate my "Kate compulsion" is what landed me in credit card debt to begin with!
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