Yes, I am just like "that friend" who failed to send her Christmas cards and sent New Year's cards instead because I am sharing this year's holiday letter with you after Christmas. In case you are wondering, I did not send Christmas or New Year's cards this year. But hey, at least I'm posting this before the new year! And P.S., my New Year's Resolution is to blog more, pinky swear!
Dear friends and family,
2011. 2011 was the year of Jen. Let's face it, it's all about me 24/7 because, well, who the hell else would it be about? My dog? My cats? Of course not - it's about me. This year, however, was more about me than usual. And (un)like Charlie Sheen, in 2011 I found myself WINNING and, on occasion, felt as though I too had "tiger blood" running through my veins. Ok, ok, no tiger blood. I took that one too far.
I found myself winning both literally and figuratively in 2011. This year I continued my running and surpassed my goal of finishing a half marathon by running three half marathons (including one to Canada and back!) and a 25k (that's 15.5 miles for you non-runners). All this running improved my physical and mental health. Im pleased to say I can once again shop at my holy trinity (J Crew, Banana Republic, Ann Taylor/Loft) and, let me you, I am a frequent customer. My credit card is not winning thanks to all the shopping but sorry, all my clothes were too big! I've longed for this problem for years. Now this is winning!
I lived out two childhood dreams in 2011. One involved a visit to a little place called The Magic Kingdom (more about that later) and the second a bit more obscure....I saw Wilson Phillips live in concert. Yes, the "Hold On" 90s girl group with those wicked harmonies. I love Wilson Phillips and their concert was everything 13 year old "Jenny" (call me that and die) imagined it would be. Totally winning!
Professionally, things couldn't be better. I'm a part of a national leadership development program, won two awards, got a promotion and am poised for bigger and better things in 2012. Most importantly, I truly love my job. Literally winning!
Sure, 2011 had some low points...finding a used condom in my yard, finding my basement flooded with sewage, chaining my air conditioning unit to the house for fear it would be stolen, countless flat tires, discovering my employer failed to take out the correct taxes for the city in which I reside, resulting in me owing over a THOUSAND dollars to said city (don't even get me started on this)...but hey, that's life! This year the good completely outweighed the bad.
I love to travel, and even though I'm still mad at Delta for breaking a wheel off a brand new piece of luggage at BWI this September, I enjoyed my travels. This year I made it to Atlanta (3 times), DC (twice), Chicago, Indiana (more times than I care to discuss but since I ran a half marathon in Indy I felt the need to mention it), New Orleans (where I got to be very American and celebrate the death of Osama bin Laden), New York (where I may have seen Jay Z....in his house) and Orlando (I am a Disney virgin no more! And yes, I was that creepy childless adult at Disney World hugging the characters).
Yes, I'm still childless...and single. And guess what? I'm ok with it! I may even marry myself in 2012. After all, I still need some basic home goods. Seriously, I just got my first crock pot. I'm 34. Why? Because I've never had a wedding shower to get one. I still need a toaster and toaster oven, a mixer and some more Kate Spade fine china. Plus, the last of my single friends are getting married next year and I'm feeling left out so yeah, I will probably marry myself next year just for the gifts. If that isn't WINNING I don't know what is.
Yes, I was WINNING in 2011 and I'm going to do everything I can to keep it going in 2012...even though I realize the whole "winning" thing is totally an out of date reference.
Happy New Year!
Jen
Showing posts with label Random. Credit cards ARE the Devil. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random. Credit cards ARE the Devil. Show all posts
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My Holiday Letter - 2010 edition
It's that time of year! People have been asking me when I planned to post the 2010 edition of my holiday letter...and since I received only one holiday letter this year (clearly, last year's online holiday letter offended some!), I didn't have the inspiration I needed....until I received a BBM from Wiggy at 7 a.m. yesterday asking what time is "too early" to drink wine because the only beverage in her home that sounded appealing (at 7 a.m. if I failed to mention this) was Moscato. In Wiggy's world, it's always time for wine and wine does help the ink flow out of the pen (or in this case, the fingers hit the keys)...so here goes:
Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas! This year I decided to stop saying "Happy Holidays" - not sure why, I haven't become uberCatholic or anything (though recently in a drunken state I allegedly said, "All people who aren't Catholic are crazy" - oops - I didn't really mean that....I believe some people who aren't Catholic are crazy), but I celebrate Christmas, as do most of my friends, so, Merry Christmas.
This year I took up running and am sitting on the couch right now nursing a random pain in my ankle. All the little veins in my foot are bulging out...I don't think this is a good so I am going to take it as a sign to not run today and to drink more wine. This running thing has been great for me! I weigh less (running burns major calories!), cry less (endorphins!) and...I drink less (except for today apparently). All true, really, I mean it. In fact, this year I ran six 5ks, a10k and am gearing up for a half marathon in Atlanta in March of 2011.
Work cut back on travel a bit this year but that didn't stop me from traveling the entire freaking state of Indiana (by car, with colleagues - something I would not recommend) as well as air travel to Salt Lake City (where my colleague/friend kept yelling "Sister Wife" as we wandered the grounds of the Mormon Temple...I totally thought the Mormon Secret Service was going to nab us for that!), New York City (I only spent 1.5 days there but made the most of every second I didn't have to work), Atlanta (where my "Sister Wife" yelling colleague/friend and I were almost the victims of a mugging), Houston (Texas - never been a fan, sorry), Washington, D.C. (where I finally made it to the Newseum) and, of course, my not so glorious return to Missouri, where I escaped accident free and got to see my dear friend Emily!
While in Atlanta I fell in love...no, not with Usher or some rapper....with a handbag. Yes, Kate Spade's Bow Regard Maryanne. Unfortunately, she's way out of my price range, especially after the events of recent days which leads me to update you on....
My "children." I would prefer not to discuss them at this moment but, what the hell. Lucy and LuLu decided ('cause they totally did this on purpose) to get sick with completely different cat sicknesses and in the last three weeks I have spent just over $1,000 at the vet. Yes, you read that correctly - $1k. I could have purchased two and half Bow Regard Maryannes for that!! And then there's Gracie - my happy go-lucky German Shepherd. Crime is up in the 'hood (I promise to give you a year end crime summary for the one mile radius around my house....and by the way, if you ever need crack I can tell you exactly where to go!) so I am thankful my dog looks menacing but let me tell you, if someone broke in the house she'd just jump on them and kiss them.
This year more friends got married, got engaged, got knocked up, opted to live in sin (oops - crazy Catholic emerging again) and I stayed single and not knocked up (and most certainly any sins I committed did not involve co-habitation). I'm convinced there are no normal single men out there, so I intend to stay single because I refuse to affix myself to some socially inept freak with a GED who makes $25,000 per year. Do you think I am joking? Go to match.com and try, just try, to find a single man over 30 with a Bachelor's degree or higher - THEY'RE NOT THERE because they're all married already! Not to mention, $25,000 per year is not enough to support my Kate Spade habit! Speaking of living single, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring some Michigan nuns and had a fleeting thought of joining them because I bet American Express would forgive my mounting credit card debt if I were a nun (crazy Catholic or shrewd financial move?) but when I saw footage of them "marrying" Jesus I decided to chuck that idea. (Seriously, they "marry" Jesus?? How have I been a lifelong Catholic and not realized? It creeps me out. Sorry, sisters, it just does).
Once again this year I managed to not step foot in a Toys R' Us, Target or any other store that sells "hot toys" this holiday season (I am sure "hot toys" are sold in my 'hood but they're a different type of "hot" if you know what I mean and, get your mind out of the gutter, by "hot" I mean stolen!). The local news said today will be the second busiest shopping day of the year after Black Friday so best of luck to you if you still have shopping to do - I am curled up with my Winter White wine from Leelenau Cellars, my "fireplace" is on (it's fake but whatever) and my $1,000 cats and crazy dog are curled up nearby. While some homes will be buzzing with children running around screaming and hopped up on candy it will be a silent night at casa de Jen. The single life is STILL all it's cracked up to be!
Love you and MERRY CHRISTMAS! -Jen
Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas! This year I decided to stop saying "Happy Holidays" - not sure why, I haven't become uberCatholic or anything (though recently in a drunken state I allegedly said, "All people who aren't Catholic are crazy" - oops - I didn't really mean that....I believe some people who aren't Catholic are crazy), but I celebrate Christmas, as do most of my friends, so, Merry Christmas.
This year I took up running and am sitting on the couch right now nursing a random pain in my ankle. All the little veins in my foot are bulging out...I don't think this is a good so I am going to take it as a sign to not run today and to drink more wine. This running thing has been great for me! I weigh less (running burns major calories!), cry less (endorphins!) and...I drink less (except for today apparently). All true, really, I mean it. In fact, this year I ran six 5ks, a10k and am gearing up for a half marathon in Atlanta in March of 2011.
Work cut back on travel a bit this year but that didn't stop me from traveling the entire freaking state of Indiana (by car, with colleagues - something I would not recommend) as well as air travel to Salt Lake City (where my colleague/friend kept yelling "Sister Wife" as we wandered the grounds of the Mormon Temple...I totally thought the Mormon Secret Service was going to nab us for that!), New York City (I only spent 1.5 days there but made the most of every second I didn't have to work), Atlanta (where my "Sister Wife" yelling colleague/friend and I were almost the victims of a mugging), Houston (Texas - never been a fan, sorry), Washington, D.C. (where I finally made it to the Newseum) and, of course, my not so glorious return to Missouri, where I escaped accident free and got to see my dear friend Emily!
While in Atlanta I fell in love...no, not with Usher or some rapper....with a handbag. Yes, Kate Spade's Bow Regard Maryanne. Unfortunately, she's way out of my price range, especially after the events of recent days which leads me to update you on....
My "children." I would prefer not to discuss them at this moment but, what the hell. Lucy and LuLu decided ('cause they totally did this on purpose) to get sick with completely different cat sicknesses and in the last three weeks I have spent just over $1,000 at the vet. Yes, you read that correctly - $1k. I could have purchased two and half Bow Regard Maryannes for that!! And then there's Gracie - my happy go-lucky German Shepherd. Crime is up in the 'hood (I promise to give you a year end crime summary for the one mile radius around my house....and by the way, if you ever need crack I can tell you exactly where to go!) so I am thankful my dog looks menacing but let me tell you, if someone broke in the house she'd just jump on them and kiss them.
This year more friends got married, got engaged, got knocked up, opted to live in sin (oops - crazy Catholic emerging again) and I stayed single and not knocked up (and most certainly any sins I committed did not involve co-habitation). I'm convinced there are no normal single men out there, so I intend to stay single because I refuse to affix myself to some socially inept freak with a GED who makes $25,000 per year. Do you think I am joking? Go to match.com and try, just try, to find a single man over 30 with a Bachelor's degree or higher - THEY'RE NOT THERE because they're all married already! Not to mention, $25,000 per year is not enough to support my Kate Spade habit! Speaking of living single, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring some Michigan nuns and had a fleeting thought of joining them because I bet American Express would forgive my mounting credit card debt if I were a nun (crazy Catholic or shrewd financial move?) but when I saw footage of them "marrying" Jesus I decided to chuck that idea. (Seriously, they "marry" Jesus?? How have I been a lifelong Catholic and not realized? It creeps me out. Sorry, sisters, it just does).
Once again this year I managed to not step foot in a Toys R' Us, Target or any other store that sells "hot toys" this holiday season (I am sure "hot toys" are sold in my 'hood but they're a different type of "hot" if you know what I mean and, get your mind out of the gutter, by "hot" I mean stolen!). The local news said today will be the second busiest shopping day of the year after Black Friday so best of luck to you if you still have shopping to do - I am curled up with my Winter White wine from Leelenau Cellars, my "fireplace" is on (it's fake but whatever) and my $1,000 cats and crazy dog are curled up nearby. While some homes will be buzzing with children running around screaming and hopped up on candy it will be a silent night at casa de Jen. The single life is STILL all it's cracked up to be!
Love you and MERRY CHRISTMAS! -Jen
Friday, February 12, 2010
Give me a "brake"
My car is a constant source of personal frustration.
I hate the damn thing, just hate it.
In the past, I always loved my cars - I've been the owner of a series of convertibles and when I moved to West Michigan (a.k.a. the snowbelt of Michigan) I became the proud owner of a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Though not a convertible, the Grand Cherokee had been my dream car in high school (I'm a freak!) and I felt like I had "arrived" driving that thing around town.
Long story short, I started commuting a long distance to work and had to ditch the Jeep because I couldn't afford to fill the gas tank on a daily basis. (In fact, I am probably still paying for gas charged to my AmEx during the gas price spike of 2006!)
Now I drive a Chrysler Sebring SEDAN. If the car in question was a Chrysler Sebring Convertible I would have nothing to complain about. However, that hard top (not to mention lack of four wheel drive) makes me loathe this car.
It always has a flat tire, it's an ugly shade of silver/blue/green, it gets crappy gas mileage and it does not handle snow and ice well. And, did I mention it has a hard top?
Literally two days after my latest car repair one of my brake lights stopped working.
Now, I am all about my life as an empowered, independent single woman who doesn't need a man to be happy or to do shit for me. Except when it comes to my car.
When it comes to car stuff I am a total drama queen.
It freaks me out - car repairs are always expensive and being without transportation during said repairs is always a challenge.
Knowing burnt out tail light is a minor thing in the car world I decided I could handle it myself.
Of course, I bitched about the situation for a week to anyone who would listen...like that would make the Car Repair Fairy (oh, I wish there were such a thing) appear at my garage door and fix it or something!
Today at lunch I pulled out the owner's manual and went to AutoZone to get the bulb. First time I had ever looked at that thing. Frankly I didn't even know I had an owner's manual until today.
Acquired bulb and got down to business.
Owner's manual? Yeah, so not helpful. It failed to mention that I would actually need to remove the entire tail light from the body of the car. The diagram showed me diagrams of pulling out a bunch of wires - NOT removing an entire tail light!
I called my dad in a panic and he tried to talk me through it but some things just don't translate over the phone. I suppose asking things like "Do I need to pull out the plastic sqaure thingy with the wires?" was not helpful. That's just the payback I deserve for the other day when I was trying to help him navigate the internet over the phone (wouldn't recommend trying that either).
He finally suggested I ask a male co-worker for help but I was determined I could do this myself.
I hung up then twisted, turned, pulled some more and boom - light bulb found!
The light bulb I removed was half the size of the replacement blub AutoZone sold me.
Shoot.
Tried to stick large bulb in "just in case" but, of course, it didn't work.
In a snit, I drove back to AutoZone.
I showed the salesman the bulb I removed from the car. Inidignant, he told me what I had in my hand - you know, the bulb I just REMOVED from the tail light - was not the right bulb. I invited him to see if for himself but he declined my offer and sold me the bulb that matched the one I had removed, all the while acting like I would just be right back to make yet another return.
Another reason I can't handle car stuff? Because men that know cars (or think they know cars) treat women like we're total idiots. I may not be a car expert but clearly this bulb was not going to work in my tail light!
Determined to prove AutoBoy wrong, I decided to replace the bulb right there in the parking lot (now that I am an expert at removing the tail light). In a few short minutes the new bulb was in.
I started the engine and propped my portable air compressor against the brake (I told you the tires are always flat! This is no joke - I have to inflate a tire at least every other week), ran around back and both brake lights were working!
It's crazy, but I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Sounds silly, but I definitely got an adrenaline rush out of it. Part of me wanted to run in to the store say "nah nah nah nah nah-nah" to AutoBoy but I refrained.
As a single woman who owns her own home and car, it can be really frustrating when something is broken, something large needs to be assembled/moved, etc. and it's something I could easily handle if I just had a little help.
Today was one small step toward maybe being more of a drama princess than drama queen when it comes to car stuff, but I feel like it was really one giant leap!
I hate the damn thing, just hate it.
In the past, I always loved my cars - I've been the owner of a series of convertibles and when I moved to West Michigan (a.k.a. the snowbelt of Michigan) I became the proud owner of a Jeep Grand Cherokee. Though not a convertible, the Grand Cherokee had been my dream car in high school (I'm a freak!) and I felt like I had "arrived" driving that thing around town.
Long story short, I started commuting a long distance to work and had to ditch the Jeep because I couldn't afford to fill the gas tank on a daily basis. (In fact, I am probably still paying for gas charged to my AmEx during the gas price spike of 2006!)
Now I drive a Chrysler Sebring SEDAN. If the car in question was a Chrysler Sebring Convertible I would have nothing to complain about. However, that hard top (not to mention lack of four wheel drive) makes me loathe this car.
It always has a flat tire, it's an ugly shade of silver/blue/green, it gets crappy gas mileage and it does not handle snow and ice well. And, did I mention it has a hard top?
Literally two days after my latest car repair one of my brake lights stopped working.
Now, I am all about my life as an empowered, independent single woman who doesn't need a man to be happy or to do shit for me. Except when it comes to my car.
When it comes to car stuff I am a total drama queen.
It freaks me out - car repairs are always expensive and being without transportation during said repairs is always a challenge.
Knowing burnt out tail light is a minor thing in the car world I decided I could handle it myself.
Of course, I bitched about the situation for a week to anyone who would listen...like that would make the Car Repair Fairy (oh, I wish there were such a thing) appear at my garage door and fix it or something!
Today at lunch I pulled out the owner's manual and went to AutoZone to get the bulb. First time I had ever looked at that thing. Frankly I didn't even know I had an owner's manual until today.
Acquired bulb and got down to business.
Owner's manual? Yeah, so not helpful. It failed to mention that I would actually need to remove the entire tail light from the body of the car. The diagram showed me diagrams of pulling out a bunch of wires - NOT removing an entire tail light!
I called my dad in a panic and he tried to talk me through it but some things just don't translate over the phone. I suppose asking things like "Do I need to pull out the plastic sqaure thingy with the wires?" was not helpful. That's just the payback I deserve for the other day when I was trying to help him navigate the internet over the phone (wouldn't recommend trying that either).
He finally suggested I ask a male co-worker for help but I was determined I could do this myself.
I hung up then twisted, turned, pulled some more and boom - light bulb found!
The light bulb I removed was half the size of the replacement blub AutoZone sold me.
Shoot.
Tried to stick large bulb in "just in case" but, of course, it didn't work.
In a snit, I drove back to AutoZone.
I showed the salesman the bulb I removed from the car. Inidignant, he told me what I had in my hand - you know, the bulb I just REMOVED from the tail light - was not the right bulb. I invited him to see if for himself but he declined my offer and sold me the bulb that matched the one I had removed, all the while acting like I would just be right back to make yet another return.
Another reason I can't handle car stuff? Because men that know cars (or think they know cars) treat women like we're total idiots. I may not be a car expert but clearly this bulb was not going to work in my tail light!
Determined to prove AutoBoy wrong, I decided to replace the bulb right there in the parking lot (now that I am an expert at removing the tail light). In a few short minutes the new bulb was in.
I started the engine and propped my portable air compressor against the brake (I told you the tires are always flat! This is no joke - I have to inflate a tire at least every other week), ran around back and both brake lights were working!
It's crazy, but I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Sounds silly, but I definitely got an adrenaline rush out of it. Part of me wanted to run in to the store say "nah nah nah nah nah-nah" to AutoBoy but I refrained.
As a single woman who owns her own home and car, it can be really frustrating when something is broken, something large needs to be assembled/moved, etc. and it's something I could easily handle if I just had a little help.
Today was one small step toward maybe being more of a drama princess than drama queen when it comes to car stuff, but I feel like it was really one giant leap!
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