In the tony neighborhood just east of here (appropriately named East Grand Rapids), police used a taser to subdue a man after they were called to his home. The problem is they tased him four times. Four times. And he died.
I know, I know...you are sitting there wondering why I am writing about this.
Well, here's why. This all took place across the street of the new home of my good friend. We'll call her "Wiggy."
"Wiggy" recently relocated to East Grand Rapids because she couldn't handle her Bible-thumphing, asparagus-pushing, home-schooling, home-intruding crazy neighbors/landlords. The last straw was when they placed a cross adorned in lights on the lawn of the duplex. That thing burned like the sun. On the upside I have to say it made her home easy to spot...from the road or even from an airplane flying overhead.
This story (of the tasing not the cross) prompted someone to ask my friend if she brings "crazy" with her wherever she goes. I have known "Wiggy" for five years now and must say she does.
It's like a dark cloud that follows her. She doesn't ask for it but it is just there.
Last night "Wiggy" was "sleeping" (if that's what you do after consuming a bottle of wine, just saying) when she saw strange lights coming in her home. She looked out the window, spotted the police and said to herself (this is a direct quote), "I am thinking to myself 'what have I did?'"
She went outside, and the police quickly shoo'ed her back in.
"Wiggy" then proceeded to take photos of the crime scene while peeking through the blinds and out the window with her BlackBerry. Did I mention that they were taking photos of her front yard? So while the tasing may have taken place across the street, for some reason her lawn is a crime scene. Welcome to the freaking neighborhood!
Unfortunately, the photos were all a dark blur. I would post one but frankly, she'd kill me if she knew I was blogging about her (so don't say anything, ok? Thanks!) so I couldn't come up with a great reason for her to share her photos with me (and she never uses Facebook so we'll never see said photos again).
I could say I am surprised, but frankly, I am not. Wherever my friend "Wiggy" goes, crazy follows.
Disclaimer: If there is any question as to who "Wiggy" is I will give you a clue. This individual, "Wiggy," may or may not have been involved with a "run in" with Beyonce somewhere in New York City....say Tribeca....Hudson St. in fact....of which I too may or may not have been involved. See June 2009 for further details.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Parents say the darndest things
Lately I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with my parents. Since my dad was diagnosed with cancer in late July I've compensated for living across the state by calling...constantly.
Now that my mom and dad are my phone buddies I realize they say the funniest things. You can only talk about blood counts and chemo so much!
My mom believes the root of all evil in the world is text messaging. Actually, text messaging while driving. She'll tell me the story about someone who cut her off in traffic ("He was probably texting.")....someone who was driving too slow ("I know she was texting.")....driving too fast ("You know he was texting.")....a bad accident on the 5 p.m. news ("The reporter didn't say it but I am sure the driver was texting.") etc. I don't know when she made the decision that texting while driving is the cause of all accidents and traffic jams! It may be that she recently learned the word "texting" and wants to use it in daily vocabulary as not to forget it? Who knows!
My dad, on the other hand, likes to tell me stories about the dog, the Detroit Tigers and cars. Somehow the subject of my car came up. Since I am "broke" I drive a 2004 Sebring with 107,890 miles and counting. I was checking the mail while talking to him and got really excited about the latest hand-written note I received from the salesgirl at the Troy, Mich. Kate Spade store.
He quipped, "You drive a car with 100,000 miles on it but you receive personal notes from salesgirls who sell $300 purses?!?"
Hello, dad! Cars are great and all but let's be real - more people see my handbags than my car so I need to carry good ones. Plus, if Kate Spade had low interest financing I would totally own the entire winter line. Plus stemware....and shoes...and I love the new jewelry too. Since I rely on American Express to finance said purchases I have to be conservative in my shopping. After all, failure to regulate my "Kate compulsion" is what landed me in credit card debt to begin with!
Now that my mom and dad are my phone buddies I realize they say the funniest things. You can only talk about blood counts and chemo so much!
My mom believes the root of all evil in the world is text messaging. Actually, text messaging while driving. She'll tell me the story about someone who cut her off in traffic ("He was probably texting.")....someone who was driving too slow ("I know she was texting.")....driving too fast ("You know he was texting.")....a bad accident on the 5 p.m. news ("The reporter didn't say it but I am sure the driver was texting.") etc. I don't know when she made the decision that texting while driving is the cause of all accidents and traffic jams! It may be that she recently learned the word "texting" and wants to use it in daily vocabulary as not to forget it? Who knows!
My dad, on the other hand, likes to tell me stories about the dog, the Detroit Tigers and cars. Somehow the subject of my car came up. Since I am "broke" I drive a 2004 Sebring with 107,890 miles and counting. I was checking the mail while talking to him and got really excited about the latest hand-written note I received from the salesgirl at the Troy, Mich. Kate Spade store.
Hello, dad! Cars are great and all but let's be real - more people see my handbags than my car so I need to carry good ones. Plus, if Kate Spade had low interest financing I would totally own the entire winter line. Plus stemware....and shoes...and I love the new jewelry too. Since I rely on American Express to finance said purchases I have to be conservative in my shopping. After all, failure to regulate my "Kate compulsion" is what landed me in credit card debt to begin with!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
ArtPrize...the coolest thing to hit GR
ArtPrize is officially up and running here in GR and it is fabulous!
According to the official web site:
The city is full of people at all days and hours, resturants are running out of food...for a time of economic hardship this event is doing wonders for our little city!
According to the official web site:
At ArtPrize, any artist—from established to emerging—has the chance to show work. Any visitor can vote. The vote will determine who wins the largest art prize in the world. We also took the unusual step to allow people in the city to open a venue and choose the artists to show in their space. There is not one official curator or jury for the competition
The city is full of people at all days and hours, resturants are running out of food...for a time of economic hardship this event is doing wonders for our little city!
I don't have a critical eye when it comes to art. I am a fan of most of the "big cool stuff" that has popped up all over town. Regardless of which pieces win, this event has been the best thing to happen to GR since Amway!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Oh won't you be my neighbor?
Remember good 'ole Mister Rogers? I used to watch him every day on PBS as a child. I just loved him and wished he were my neighbor.
As a single thirtysomething adult living in the city, one would think meeting a nice, normal neighbor would be easier than it is. I am not looking for a Mister Rogers-type neighbor, I mean, I don't think he would enjoy hanging out with me on the deck at Republic during sushi happy hour or shopping trips to Saugatuck, but maybe someone a little like myself. I chose my current neighborhood for its close proximity to downtown GR and because I liked my house - I really wasn't too concerned about a perspective BFF living on the block.
Across the street is a really nice couple in my age range - two dogs, no kids but they are a little too, well, NASCAR for me (no offense to anyone who likes NASCAR - I know I am a bitch, what can I say?). So, when a couple my age with no kids, Illinois plates and an Obama sticker moved in two doors down from the NASCAR neighbors I was pretty pumped! I felt like a kid again - as though a new family with a child around my age had moved to the block and it was a chance to make a new friend. That never worked out when I was a kid living in my parents' subdivision so I don't know WHY I thought it would work out for grown-up Jen.
Maybe the possibilities intrigued me. I was thinking as a young, hip couple, they may know/meet/work with a young single guy or two they could throw my way. I suddenly had visions of BBQs at our respective houses, me meeting one of their guy friends, dating him and suddenly doing all kinds of fun couple like things. Single ladies, you know what I am saying, the one thing more difficult than meeting a friend in the city is meeting a "dateable" man!
I didn't want to run over there like a freak so a week or so passed before I made my move. I was watering the flowers when the opportunity presented itself - there goes the new neighbor lady walking her dog! As I smooth my hair in anticipation of meeting my new BFF, she sees me on the porch and makes a beeline across the street so she doesn't have to walk in front of my house. Now, Gracie is in the window going berserk at the sight of the dog so I initially delude myself into believing it was a "mercy crossing" - a way to keep her dog away from Gracie. OK, OK, a possibility. So I finish watering the flowers, go inside and put on some lip gloss (because one should never try to make new friends without it) and head across the street to go knock on their door and introduce myself. I know they are home because she just returned from walking the dog and he was just out in the yard.
I walk across the street, head held high, ready to meet my new friends. I walk up the steps and see the front door is open, the screen door letting the cool breeze of the day in. I nervously ring the door bell. The little black dog comes to the door and wags his tail at me. I am thinking it's a good sign. Then I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
The little dog at one point turns and wags its tail at what I presume is one of both of his owners. After what feels like an eternity it is clear that, despite the fact that ALL SIGNS point to them being home, they just aren't going to come to the door. I put on my best sorority girl smile, turn around and head home. It feels like a one mile journey across the street. I put myself out there to meet my new neighbors, welcome them to the neighborhood and they completely reject me. They did not know I had already envisioned we would be BFFs! Unless they are mind readers...hmmm.....
So tonight I stepped out onto my porch and they were sitting on their porch. As soon as I sat down in my white Adirondack chair they high-tailed it in the house, never to be seen again. Clearly they think I am stalking them now. Or maybe they are just completely anti-social. Whatever the case I am a little sad that I will not have any new friends in my 'hood any time soon.
As a single thirtysomething adult living in the city, one would think meeting a nice, normal neighbor would be easier than it is. I am not looking for a Mister Rogers-type neighbor, I mean, I don't think he would enjoy hanging out with me on the deck at Republic during sushi happy hour or shopping trips to Saugatuck, but maybe someone a little like myself. I chose my current neighborhood for its close proximity to downtown GR and because I liked my house - I really wasn't too concerned about a perspective BFF living on the block.
My neighborhood is interesting and my neighbors are nice enough. There is the sort of crabby older couple on one side of me who like my dog more than they like me. On the other side is the couple with the 13 year old (who used to like me but now think my dog Gracie killed their cat - will save that story for later).
Does this look like the face of a killer?
Across the street is a really nice couple in my age range - two dogs, no kids but they are a little too, well, NASCAR for me (no offense to anyone who likes NASCAR - I know I am a bitch, what can I say?). So, when a couple my age with no kids, Illinois plates and an Obama sticker moved in two doors down from the NASCAR neighbors I was pretty pumped! I felt like a kid again - as though a new family with a child around my age had moved to the block and it was a chance to make a new friend. That never worked out when I was a kid living in my parents' subdivision so I don't know WHY I thought it would work out for grown-up Jen.
Maybe the possibilities intrigued me. I was thinking as a young, hip couple, they may know/meet/work with a young single guy or two they could throw my way. I suddenly had visions of BBQs at our respective houses, me meeting one of their guy friends, dating him and suddenly doing all kinds of fun couple like things. Single ladies, you know what I am saying, the one thing more difficult than meeting a friend in the city is meeting a "dateable" man!
I didn't want to run over there like a freak so a week or so passed before I made my move. I was watering the flowers when the opportunity presented itself - there goes the new neighbor lady walking her dog! As I smooth my hair in anticipation of meeting my new BFF, she sees me on the porch and makes a beeline across the street so she doesn't have to walk in front of my house. Now, Gracie is in the window going berserk at the sight of the dog so I initially delude myself into believing it was a "mercy crossing" - a way to keep her dog away from Gracie. OK, OK, a possibility. So I finish watering the flowers, go inside and put on some lip gloss (because one should never try to make new friends without it) and head across the street to go knock on their door and introduce myself. I know they are home because she just returned from walking the dog and he was just out in the yard.
I walk across the street, head held high, ready to meet my new friends. I walk up the steps and see the front door is open, the screen door letting the cool breeze of the day in. I nervously ring the door bell. The little black dog comes to the door and wags his tail at me. I am thinking it's a good sign. Then I wait.
And wait.
And wait.
The little dog at one point turns and wags its tail at what I presume is one of both of his owners. After what feels like an eternity it is clear that, despite the fact that ALL SIGNS point to them being home, they just aren't going to come to the door. I put on my best sorority girl smile, turn around and head home. It feels like a one mile journey across the street. I put myself out there to meet my new neighbors, welcome them to the neighborhood and they completely reject me. They did not know I had already envisioned we would be BFFs! Unless they are mind readers...hmmm.....
So tonight I stepped out onto my porch and they were sitting on their porch. As soon as I sat down in my white Adirondack chair they high-tailed it in the house, never to be seen again. Clearly they think I am stalking them now. Or maybe they are just completely anti-social. Whatever the case I am a little sad that I will not have any new friends in my 'hood any time soon.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
All the single ladies
A friend, who shall remain nameless, "Wiggy" just returned from New York City. She went with me and our friend Rachael. "Wiggy" had never been on an airplane before so I thought airport security would be the most interesting part of the trip but no. No, no. No, no, no.
Long story short. "Wiggy" discovered Beyonce's NYC apartment address. I may or may not have enabled this...or actually Googled this.
"Wiggy" insisted we "stop by" the building while in the city.
We did.
The chances Beyonce would be home while we were there? Or that she actually lived there? A million to one - easy. We should have purchased lottery tickets.
The incident involved an Escalade, a bodyguard and Beyonce herself. It was something. For the record, her bodyguard is scary. He's clearly very good at his job!
I am just thankful we weren't arrested. Though I wouldn't be surprised if poor Beyonce has restraining orders out for us...
Thursday, May 14, 2009
No good deed goes unpunished....
OK, that may be a bit extreme but I have to share what happened to me today.
I was driving a very janky rental car down congested 4 lane road on my way home from a work trip to Detroit. I approached an intersection that included on ramps to a freeway. As I drove through the light at the intersection, a few yards ahead a big black dog still attached to its leash ran out into the road then onto the grassy area next to the on ramp, heading toward the freeway entrance.
As a dog owner, I felt compelled to stop and try to help the dog. Let me remind you, it was a highly traveled, congested road and I was the only person who bothered to stop. I chased the dog up the grassy knoll and once I got its attention it ran toward me. However, it had run so far it was behind a fence with nothing between it and a major freeway but some grass. I ran and called it until it came back my way. This dog was CRAZY!! It would come close to me then dart off, but at least I had lured it into a parking lot adjacent to the grassy knoll. I am sitting there wondering how I am going to grab this dog when a car pulled up. It is the owner of the dog!
As soon as she got out of the car the dog ran to her. I told her I got the dog's attention and stopped it from running onto the freeway on ramp. She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, I was in the bank and some guy told me my dog got loose from the car." And then, she and the dog got in her car and drove away. I stood there stunned.
No "thank you", no "oh, that was nice of you to stop" - NOTHING. Really? I mean, I just saved your freaking dog!
I didn't do it to be thanked, I did it to save the dog from certain death. It isn't the dog's fault its owner is apparently an a**hole. Seriously? I am a little angry. If the roles were reversed I would have thanked that woman profusely.
Am I right to be a little po'ed? What would you do in this situation? Would you have stopped? Would you have said something to the woman like I wanted to?
These days I can't help but be a little cynical - I am starting to feel like the number of people out there in the world who put themselves first no matter what, who won't help a friend in need let alone a stranger in need, outnumber those of us who dare to care about our friends and neighbors. Times are tough. Unemployment lines growing, people losing their homes, people going bankrupt, losing their life savings - we need to be kind to one another and help one another when we can! In a world of rising gas prices and falling stock prices, kindness is free!
I know I can be a total b**tch sometimes....yes I like to gossip sometimes (ok, often) and yes I can be unkind (like when I roll my eyes at people in the airport) but, you know what, I care about giving back - to friends, strangers, my sorority, my community... so people, sometimes when I come off as a b**tch, just remember way deep down in there is a girl who will chase a big dog down the grassy knoll next to a freeway enterance and even though I am not happy with the reaction of the dog's owner I would do it all over again.
I was driving a very janky rental car down congested 4 lane road on my way home from a work trip to Detroit. I approached an intersection that included on ramps to a freeway. As I drove through the light at the intersection, a few yards ahead a big black dog still attached to its leash ran out into the road then onto the grassy area next to the on ramp, heading toward the freeway entrance.
As a dog owner, I felt compelled to stop and try to help the dog. Let me remind you, it was a highly traveled, congested road and I was the only person who bothered to stop. I chased the dog up the grassy knoll and once I got its attention it ran toward me. However, it had run so far it was behind a fence with nothing between it and a major freeway but some grass. I ran and called it until it came back my way. This dog was CRAZY!! It would come close to me then dart off, but at least I had lured it into a parking lot adjacent to the grassy knoll. I am sitting there wondering how I am going to grab this dog when a car pulled up. It is the owner of the dog!
As soon as she got out of the car the dog ran to her. I told her I got the dog's attention and stopped it from running onto the freeway on ramp. She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, I was in the bank and some guy told me my dog got loose from the car." And then, she and the dog got in her car and drove away. I stood there stunned.
No "thank you", no "oh, that was nice of you to stop" - NOTHING. Really? I mean, I just saved your freaking dog!
I didn't do it to be thanked, I did it to save the dog from certain death. It isn't the dog's fault its owner is apparently an a**hole. Seriously? I am a little angry. If the roles were reversed I would have thanked that woman profusely.
Am I right to be a little po'ed? What would you do in this situation? Would you have stopped? Would you have said something to the woman like I wanted to?
These days I can't help but be a little cynical - I am starting to feel like the number of people out there in the world who put themselves first no matter what, who won't help a friend in need let alone a stranger in need, outnumber those of us who dare to care about our friends and neighbors. Times are tough. Unemployment lines growing, people losing their homes, people going bankrupt, losing their life savings - we need to be kind to one another and help one another when we can! In a world of rising gas prices and falling stock prices, kindness is free!
I know I can be a total b**tch sometimes....yes I like to gossip sometimes (ok, often) and yes I can be unkind (like when I roll my eyes at people in the airport) but, you know what, I care about giving back - to friends, strangers, my sorority, my community... so people, sometimes when I come off as a b**tch, just remember way deep down in there is a girl who will chase a big dog down the grassy knoll next to a freeway enterance and even though I am not happy with the reaction of the dog's owner I would do it all over again.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Three nights in my own bed in two and a half weeks...
My friends know I love to travel so I am not going to complain too much about the excessive amount of traveling I’ve been doing. Right now I am in Atlanta, a city where I lived briefly after college. I truly belong here with all the people who freak out about driving in snow. I think the Michiganders who speed around me when I drive like a granny in the snow would agree. Anyway, I am sitting here with my fantastic view of the Bank of America (i.e. my favorite building in the ATL), there is no snow falling or on the ground, I just drank some Sweetwater 420 (fave beer you can’t get that north of GA) and had dinner with one of my all time favorite people - so things are good. Getting back to my point, it was another travel day from hell.
I decided that my version of Dante’s circles of hell are:
1) Sitting in an airport with your flight continuously getting delayed while in a different time zone, nowhere comfortable to nap and all stores closed b/c it is the middle of the night (LAX last weekend).
2) Driving in snow (shocking, I know) where visibility is zero, you keep sliding if you go over ten miles per hour while everyone is passing you and you have to drive with your flashers on b/c you are afraid of rolling off the road and dying and there is no end in sight (Indy to GR trip Sunday - still a little keyed up from that one).
3) Sitting on an airplane with no way to escape (connecting flight to DTW today; flight from GRR to ORD to try to get to LAX last weekend).
So today I missed my connecting flight because the Detroit airport just couldn’t get a jetbridge to the plane. We were all stuck on the plane waiting for a jetbridge for over 20 minutes. My connection was a Delta/Northwest Airlines codeshare flight. I am not even going to get in to the details of my hour long back and forth runs between various NWA and Delta ticket counters but let me say this...it pushed me over the edge today.
Enough venting...time to get back to gazing out the window from the 33rd floor of the Marriott - taking in the fantastic night time view of one of my favorite cities!
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