Crazy Mary, is that you?

Now that summer break is upon us, the 'hood is much more lively at night. Lucky me.

My trashy neighbors (you know, the used condom tossers) threw a huge party last weekend and, thankfully, I was out of town. I can only imagine what I missed. Thankfully, I did not find any used condoms or similar devices in my yard.

Tonight as I was trying to go to sleep I heard someone yell, "Help meeeeeeeeeeee! Heeelllp meeeeeee!!"

Now, I am normally the first person to call my local police department. However, since I called yesterday to report some thugs playing basketball in the street (and, p.s. was told it is fine as long as they "yield" to cars), I decided someone else would make the call. I couldn't pinpoint where the screaming was coming from but oh man, it was loud!

GRPD arrived on the scene in record time. I could hear people laughing while the lady kept screaming. And kept screaming. And kept screaming. Suddenly she was yelling about being naked and "you're killing me!" Oh, but people were laughing at her so clearly there was no imminent danger.

Suddenly, I had a flashback. In my mind I could hear, "I WANT A TUNA SANDWICH!!!" "HELL-OOOOO I WANT A TUNA FISH SAAAANDWIIIIIICHHHHH!!!!!!" in my head. Yes, friends, I think "Crazy Mary" has followed me to the northwest side of town!

"Crazy Mary" was my neighbor way back in 2007 and her antics actually were the catalyst for this blog!

I'd like to think this woman, described over the police scanner as "combative psychotic," is indeed "Crazy Mary."

This "Crazy Mary's" antics brought out the crazy in the condom tossers. They needed to pack up all their kids (and there are a lot of them - they must have just figured out how to use condoms), Precious the dog and saunter up the street to check out the situation. I heard them laughing about "crazy white people" as they walked home...and then proceeded to turn on their blaring R& B music and light firecrackers. Really, people? It's 11:00 p.m. And the police are one block away.

At least "Crazy Mary" never threw a used condom in my yard. All right, I lived in an apartment and didn't have a yard...but I did have a stoop! Though she did play "Blue Christmas" by Elvis on repeat for hours....at least the condom tossers play a variety when they bust the jams.