Remember the house with the toilet and sink fountain in my neighborhood? The poor next door neighbors are trying to sell their house. A for sale sign went up last week. They should just put up a sign that says “Free To Good Home” on their front door because, seriously, no one is going to buy the house. First and foremost, it is sort of unfortunate looking to begin with…it is on a street that is in decline…and, oh yeah, the house next door has a toilet in the yard!
The house next door to me is in foreclosure, but I’m lucky – the bank seems to be taking better care of the lawn and landscaping than the owners did. So, despite the fact that the foreclosed home has caused my home value to plummet, thereby chaining me to my home and neighborhood for eternity, I can’t complain about overgrown rose bushes or grass. Despite this little sliver of sunshine in my ridiculous neighborhood, I’m a bit off-kilter this week.
It all started when I went “out” on Sunday night. I’m too old for that! The worst part was, it was a visit to my favorite neighborhood bar and at 11 p.m. they started letting people SMOKE in the bar. Michigan has a law (that I LOVE) that requires all bars and restaurants to be smokefree. This issue is very close to my heart so I was absolutely disgusted and outraged. The smoke caused me to high-tail it out of there (thankfully, because 11 p.m. is past my bed time on a “school night”) but not before I told the bartender that allowing smoking is against the law and that I would be filing a complaint with the health department immediately. I’m thinking I won’t be welcome back there with open arms any time soon…
I have this irrational fear of falling off the elliptical at the gym. I’m not sure why – I just do. Of course, it was completely unjustified and irrational until yesterday…when I fell off the elliptical at the gym. At least it was a somewhat graceful fall. I held on to the machine for as long as possible (thank goodness it did not fall on top of me!), resulting in sort of a slow motion roll to the ground. Graceful, I know.
This morning I was ready to head out the door for work, sporting my favorite gray pencil skirt. I bent over to pick up my running shoes and I heard a “ziiiiip.” My zipper had split. At least it happened in my home and not at the office – that would have been embarrassing. I realize this is a “first world pain” (by the way – if you are on Twitter – First World Pains is fun to follow) but, it is embarrassing and I tend to share embarrassing things in the name of my blog all the time (see last blog post as prime example).
I suppose my off-kilter feeling is heightened by the fact that: 1) Crime is up in the ‘hood (shocking, I know) and I have to be away this weekend for work and 2) Of all places, I have to go to Missouri this weekend. Those of you who are long-time blog readers know Misery/Missouri and I are not friends.
I would say wish me luck, but I know all will be fine and I’ll escape Misery unscathed. Do me a favor and wish some luck to the poor home owners next to the toilet house. No wonder their home is sort of unfortunate looking - if the home next to me had a toilet fountain I would be more than off-kilter, I would give up on life!
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