These are the people in my neighborhood....

I promised not to blog about running, however, my neighborhood is so crazy I often find inspiration for my blog while running. So, if you don't like it, I say (in the words of the brilliant Kathy Griffin) "suck it."

My neighborhood used to be "the Polish neighborhood" and, well, it still sort of is, but like many other urban neighborhoods it is diverse - difference races, classes and ages. And I like that. I grew up in a homogenous suburb and it was so freaking boring. No one has yet been able to convince me why suburbs are so great (but please keep trying so I can make fun of you at a later date and time).

Today I encountered more craziness than usual while hanging out in my 'hood. Sadly, much of what I encountered illustrate class and cultural stereotypes and made me wonder if the people perpetuating this are even aware or care.

Shortly after the one mile mark I encountered a group of redneck teenagers working on a pickup truck. They all stopped to stare at me. It was really creepy and made me run faster. I kept waiting for one of them to bust out a Confederate flag to beat me with or something. These rednecks were hanging next door to a house where normally, as I run by, two or three small black men usually yell something at me that involves the word "shawty." I don't know where my "shawty" friends were tonight - I suspect they were making purchases at the party store across the street. They are less creepy than the redneck teenagers. Plus, they make me wonder if they need good optometrists. I have never been short/small/petite and, in fact, I am larger than all of them. I realize "shawty" or "shortie" is a term of endearment but, guess what fellas, you just sound silly yelling it at a tall, fat white girl.

The Dairy Queen sits close to mile marker number two on my run. Talk about temptation! I must say I feel superior running past as people stuff their faces with ice cream (though I LOVE ice cream). Today, I witnessed a group of Latinos treating a Jeep Liberty like a clown car. Seriously, there were six adults and three small children. The children definitely were small enough to need to ride in booster seats so I am not sure how they made it work, but somehow, all but one of them had piled in by the time I passed them by. I've been involved with overstuffing a car with people (once in college we broke an axle on a sorority sister's car it was so "overstuffed!"), so I am not one to judge. It made for something interesting to watch as a wheezed into the second mile of my run.

My mind was still trying to figure out the logistics of the Jeep Liberty clown car when I saw two elderly people walking toward me. Though they were sporting matching windbreakers, they weren't exactly jogging or even walking at a brisk pace. As I approached, I expected the old man to move behind his lady friend so there would be room for us to pass each other. Not so much. They "stayed the course" as if we were playing a game of chicken and I nearly took out grandma.

Finally, in the home stretch of the run, I was thinking about how my friend "Wiggy" better appreciate that I am running on a day I should be resting so I can make a trip over to her house after work tomorrow to check on the status of her mouse situation (this is a teaser for tomorrow, folks! I expect some good material to come from this as "Wiggy" hates any furry creatures and has already called the mouse in her house a "mother f**ker" and a "slut")..when suddenly....a car came speeding up the street. As it approached me, the passenger rolled down the windows and suddenly I saw a person with a pony tail and heard high pitched "woo hooing" and cat calling from the car. Women? I am now being cat called by women? Maybe it was the visor I was wearing that screamed Billie Jean King or something?

All of this convinced me I really need to find a new running route. One can only take so much heckling. It's tough enough for a fat girl to get out there and run...but to be sexually harassed by men and now women too? Enough is enough!

Maybe the 'burbs aren't looking so bad after all....