Save the date?

There's a situation I've been longing to blog about but have refrained for many reasons. I can no longer keep my mouth shut but will tread lightly in telling this story for it is no urban legend. Sadly, everything I am about to share is indeed true:

Once upon a time there were two single women living in the city. These two women shared a mutual friend in college, and became good friends after both moved to a new city across the state from where they grew up. Both lived downtown (until one fled to the suburbs in hopes that living in suburbia would help her realize her dream of being a soccer mom) and both were often shunned by their married friends for being single. These two women spent many a Valentine's Day together and went to dinners, bars, festivals, movies on a regular basis. Both struggled with their weight, which made them basically "undate-able" in the very superficial world they (and we) live in. They talked on the phone nearly every day - telling tales of work drama and mutual friend drama.

While they had a lot in common, they were also very different. The younger woman believed in things like helping her community and scorning chain restaurants, whereas the other believed in...well, the mall. These different philosophies caused some tension from time to time, but nothing insurmountable. Even after the older one moved to a condo in the suburbs they remained friends. The pair also had different philosophies on dating. The older one was always on the lookout for "the husband (she) hasn't met yet" while the other believed if it's meant to be it's meant to be and if it's not, it's not. Both had insecurities about entering the dating world.

Eventually, both gained some confidence and ventured into the wacky world of online dating because neither was the type of girl to get hit on at a bar - both needed some extra help in that department. In the beginning, they shared stories about bad dates and the crazy profiles of men they encountered online. Then, one day, the older one told what was certainly one of the worst first date stories ever! She met up with a guy she was matched with on eHarmomy and on their first date he looked at her and called her "chubby." Yes, chubby. And, by the way, this man was estimated to be about a decade older than her, and did not exactly have the abs of Ryan Reynolds...or even Jack Black for that matter. The friends gathered around for this story, as well as the waitress at the restaurant serving their table, all told her to forget the guy and move on. The conversation turned to other people at the table and other topics and the evening progressed into a fun girl's night out.

And that was the last time the older one was seen or heard from again. Well, for the most part. It turns out she didn't run from Mr. Old and Flabby. In fact, they eventually moved in together and got engaged. She cut her friends out of her life to date and now marry the man who called her chubby on their first date. With the wedding quickly approaching, her save the dates have gone out. But not everyone from her old life received a save the date...in fact, her former friend - the (cool, hip) younger urban dweller who scorns chain restaurants - was left off the list, despite the fact that the two of them spent nearly five years of their lives being each other's go-to single gal pal. And after the snubbed friend discovered she was snubbed, she de-friended her former friend on Facebook and the two never spoke again. The End.

OK, so the "de-friending" may be an exaggeration but the story needed to wrap up!

The moral of the story, kids? Don't ditch your friends when you get into a relationship. And, if you do, at least invite the people who supported you through your single years to your wedding to celebrate your new life, even if you have no intention of continuing the friendship. After all, these are the people who supported you through some of the most difficult times of your life and should be included in your special day, if for no other reason to have closure to your friendship and to wish you best of luck in your new life as Mrs. Old and Flabby!