It's that time of year! People have been asking me when I planned to post the 2010 edition of my holiday letter...and since I received only one holiday letter this year (clearly, last year's online holiday letter offended some!), I didn't have the inspiration I needed....until I received a BBM from Wiggy at 7 a.m. yesterday asking what time is "too early" to drink wine because the only beverage in her home that sounded appealing (at 7 a.m. if I failed to mention this) was Moscato. In Wiggy's world, it's always time for wine and wine does help the ink flow out of the pen (or in this case, the fingers hit the keys)...so here goes:
Dear Family and Friends,
Merry Christmas! This year I decided to stop saying "Happy Holidays" - not sure why, I haven't become uberCatholic or anything (though recently in a drunken state I allegedly said, "All people who aren't Catholic are crazy" - oops - I didn't really mean that....I believe some people who aren't Catholic are crazy), but I celebrate Christmas, as do most of my friends, so, Merry Christmas.
This year I took up running and am sitting on the couch right now nursing a random pain in my ankle. All the little veins in my foot are bulging out...I don't think this is a good so I am going to take it as a sign to not run today and to drink more wine. This running thing has been great for me! I weigh less (running burns major calories!), cry less (endorphins!) and...I drink less (except for today apparently). All true, really, I mean it. In fact, this year I ran six 5ks, a10k and am gearing up for a half marathon in Atlanta in March of 2011.
Work cut back on travel a bit this year but that didn't stop me from traveling the entire freaking state of Indiana (by car, with colleagues - something I would not recommend) as well as air travel to Salt Lake City (where my colleague/friend kept yelling "Sister Wife" as we wandered the grounds of the Mormon Temple...I totally thought the Mormon Secret Service was going to nab us for that!), New York City (I only spent 1.5 days there but made the most of every second I didn't have to work), Atlanta (where my "Sister Wife" yelling colleague/friend and I were almost the victims of a mugging), Houston (Texas - never been a fan, sorry), Washington, D.C. (where I finally made it to the Newseum) and, of course, my not so glorious return to Missouri, where I escaped accident free and got to see my dear friend Emily!
While in Atlanta I fell in love...no, not with Usher or some rapper....with a handbag. Yes, Kate Spade's Bow Regard Maryanne. Unfortunately, she's way out of my price range, especially after the events of recent days which leads me to update you on....
My "children." I would prefer not to discuss them at this moment but, what the hell. Lucy and LuLu decided ('cause they totally did this on purpose) to get sick with completely different cat sicknesses and in the last three weeks I have spent just over $1,000 at the vet. Yes, you read that correctly - $1k. I could have purchased two and half Bow Regard Maryannes for that!! And then there's Gracie - my happy go-lucky German Shepherd. Crime is up in the 'hood (I promise to give you a year end crime summary for the one mile radius around my house....and by the way, if you ever need crack I can tell you exactly where to go!) so I am thankful my dog looks menacing but let me tell you, if someone broke in the house she'd just jump on them and kiss them.
This year more friends got married, got engaged, got knocked up, opted to live in sin (oops - crazy Catholic emerging again) and I stayed single and not knocked up (and most certainly any sins I committed did not involve co-habitation). I'm convinced there are no normal single men out there, so I intend to stay single because I refuse to affix myself to some socially inept freak with a GED who makes $25,000 per year. Do you think I am joking? Go to match.com and try, just try, to find a single man over 30 with a Bachelor's degree or higher - THEY'RE NOT THERE because they're all married already! Not to mention, $25,000 per year is not enough to support my Kate Spade habit! Speaking of living single, I saw an episode of Oprah featuring some Michigan nuns and had a fleeting thought of joining them because I bet American Express would forgive my mounting credit card debt if I were a nun (crazy Catholic or shrewd financial move?) but when I saw footage of them "marrying" Jesus I decided to chuck that idea. (Seriously, they "marry" Jesus?? How have I been a lifelong Catholic and not realized? It creeps me out. Sorry, sisters, it just does).
Once again this year I managed to not step foot in a Toys R' Us, Target or any other store that sells "hot toys" this holiday season (I am sure "hot toys" are sold in my 'hood but they're a different type of "hot" if you know what I mean and, get your mind out of the gutter, by "hot" I mean stolen!). The local news said today will be the second busiest shopping day of the year after Black Friday so best of luck to you if you still have shopping to do - I am curled up with my Winter White wine from Leelenau Cellars, my "fireplace" is on (it's fake but whatever) and my $1,000 cats and crazy dog are curled up nearby. While some homes will be buzzing with children running around screaming and hopped up on candy it will be a silent night at casa de Jen. The single life is STILL all it's cracked up to be!
Love you and MERRY CHRISTMAS! -Jen
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