Thursday evening I saw what is, in my opinion, the best news story I've ever seen on ABC World News. It should win an Emmy or a Pulitzer or something like that!
The story was about longevity, specifically focusing on those mysteries of modern medicine: the centenarians. You know, really old people. Specifically, people 100 years or older.
Here is the link but really, you have to hear my interpretation (which will be even better than the real deal). The news piece talks about having good genes, blah, blah, blah but the treasure and, what I believe is the truth, comes from the mouths of the two centenarians featured in the story: Two old ladies named Aggie and Betty.
Betty is a 110 year old white lady and Aggie is a 105 year old black lady. And they have some damn good advice for the younger ladies. Both are as cute as buttons and still quite active given their ages!
Betty said her key to long life, "No kids." Bingo! Betty is single and fabulous...and probably broke because she has lived so damn long. But maybe not so much since she never had to spend money on children? Not sure if Betty ever married, but by now I am sure her husband would be dead because women usually outlive men anyway. Unless Betty is a total cougar. Anyway, give it up for Betty!
Then there is Aggie. Yes, Aggie - she's my girl! She won me over with her tip for a long life when she shared her diet secrets. It's not what Aggie eats, it's what she drinks. My girl Aggie keeps it real. She said she drinks three Miller High Lifes and one shot of Scotch a day. All I can say? You go girl! Then there was a cut to a shot of Aggie kicking back a Miller Light (not a Miller High Life but close enough and I personally prefer Miller Light - less carbs).
There are your answers, my friends! The secret to a long, fabulous life. It is not about working out, eating right or any of that crap. Do as Betty and Aggie did. Don't have children and keep on drinking!
Bottoms up!
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