How to offend your friends 101

I didn't intend to offend my Facebook friends today. They know I can be a total bitch. Hello! It's me! Do they not know me?

Somehow, I did manage to offend a few because today I took offense to one of those "If you have the best husband in the world-gag-me-with-a-spoon then copy this" stupid status updates that I despise.

This particular one is making its second round on Facebook. I ignored it with disgust the first time, but this time I can no longer hold my tongue:

"Snobby girls come from New York, sweet girls come from Alabama, but we Michigan girls have fire and ice in our blood...We can ride four wheelers, be a princess, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys and if we have an opinion, you know you're going to hear it.... Re-post ...if you're a ...TRUE.....MICHIGAN GIRL!"

I did NOT "re-post" this.

In fact, I posted this:

"Am I the only one offended by that 'Michigan girl' status update that talks about riding four wheelers and 'throwing left hooks?' I do neither of those. I also don't go 'up north,' I don't own any 'snow gear' and believe Michigan people have horrid accents. Clearly I am NOT a 'Michigan girl!'"

If the original author of this status update wants to stereotype, he or she simply should have written, "A 'Michigan girl' can wrangle a deer with her bear hands while cooking pasties (not pronounced like the nipple covers, by the way) and drinking a Faygo pop or a Labatt Blue during a weekend up north in 'da UP."  I think I covered several Michigan stereotypes there.

No one likes being reduced to a stereotype, especially one so....rough? "Throwing left hooks?" Really? I am not sure if the reference is to fishing (which is a big sport here in the Great Lakes state) or bar fighting but either way I am offended. I know it is just a stupid Facebook "thing" but it just really got to me.

What I did not expect was the dialogue it started on my Facebook page! Some agreed with me, while others did not.

And I never should have opened the door on the whole "accent" thing. People who don't get out of this state much really believe Michiganders don't have a regional accent. Yes, they do. Trust me on this. I have been back in this state for six years and it has totally crept back - I work hard to keep it at bay, but alas, when surrounded by it, you eventually surrender. For example, "Mom" is pronounced "maam" in Michigan. Don't believe me? Ask The New York Times travel writers! A few years ago one of their writers did a review on Grand Rapids (man, we thought we have MADE it then!) and featured a city landmark, The B.O.B., in the article. The writer took time to say, "The B.O.B., or as the locals call it, "The Baab." No joke.

What is the point of all of this? I am not really sure. I suppose to share a couple of lessons:
1. Offending people you like on Facebook is not a good idea
2. Don't get offended by stupid Facebook cut and paste status updates made up by people who have nothing better to do

Notice I did not take offense to the drinking reference. Though, as a refined, fabulous woman, I would much prefer sipping martinis at cocktail hour with the girls than shot-gunning beers with the boys. Unless Ryan Reynolds was one of said boys. Then I'd be totally down (or as we say in Michigan "Eye'd bee totally daayown").