Biggie Smalls (a.k.a. The Notorious B.I.G.) should not have gone back to "Cali" since that's where he was shot and killed....and I have a bad feeling I should not go back to Missouri.
However, this week my nearly ten year boycott of the "Show Me" state is coming to an end ("Show Me" what? I still want to know!).
No, I am not involved in any sort of "M state" rivalry or anything, but I am convinced bad things happen when I am in the state of Missouri.
So much so, I refer to Missouri as "Misery."
Ten years ago (wow - I am old) I was a professional sorority girl (oh, how I wish I had a blog / knew what a blog was in those days - would have landed a book deal for sure) and I traveled constantly to colleges and universities throughout the country. Two of my assigned universities were in Misery.
It was March 2000 and I was flying in to Kansas City to make a 1.5 hour trek to one of my schools. As we landed, the pilot announced we would be the last plane to land due to a blizzard. I figured my ride (college students) would not make it to pick me up since weather conditions were so terrible. Much to my surprise, two sorority girls were waiting for me at the gate (these were pre-9/11 days).
Long story short, they said roads weren't "that bad" and we would be ok getting to campus.
We piled in the car. The two girls up front , me and my 90 pound suitcase in the back. My purse, laptop and second suitcase were in the trunk (don't give me crap, ok, I traveled for 4-5 weeks at a time!).
About 2.5 hours later, after crawling along the state highways of Misery and counting over 25 cars off the road, the driver looked in the rearview mirror and said, "We're just outside of town!"
Suddenly, she lost control of the car, we crossed lanes and all I could see was a semi-truck speeding directly at our car. All I could think was, "Great - I am going to die in Missouri" when we suddenly started sliding another way, off the road and rolled down a hill in to a ditch landing on our side. The 90 pound suitcase landed on me.
Neither girl had a cell phone (this was just a year or two before everyone and their mother got a cell phone) and my purse was in the trunk. The car was on its side in a ditch - no one was getting out. Thankfully, my work-issued cell phone was in my pocket and I was able to call 911.
It was snowing so hard they couldn't find us...and, to make matters worse, no one else called 911 for us. Several cars saw us fly off the road, including the truck that almost plowed in to us. Hey Misery, "Show Me" you know how to call 911, ok?
We were eventually found and thankfully, everyone escaped without physical injury (yay for seatbelts).
Sadly, I have a long term "emotional injury" from the accident. When driving in snowy conditions I have panic attacks. It wasn't an issue when I lived in a state that shuts down at the threat of "snow" (why I love Georgia!) but here in Grand Rapids it presents a major problem for me to this day.
Anyway...
In July of that year, I went back (for work of course) and while stuck in a traffic jam, an old lady driving a conversion van slammed in to the back of our little rental Saturn. That 90 pound suitcase of mine (and a second one belonging to a co-worker) absorbed much of the impact (our suitcases were never the same after the wreck) and, once again, we were wearing seatbelts so all we had to deal with was a little whip lash.
After that accident, I told my boss she could fire me if she wanted but I would never return to Misery on business (I believe that is what I said verbatim. I wasn't mincing words). I never went back to any of those universities again.
Flash forward ten years: This week I head to Misery on business. Different business, but business nonetheless.
I can't use the "I boycott Misery...er...Missouri" excuse or anything. I just need to suck it up and go.
Do I really think I will be involved in a car accident? No. Well, not really. I mean, probably not. No, I am 75 percent sure nothing bad will happen.
Do I think something bad will happen this week in conjunction with my trip? In light of the crime spree in my neighborhood, maybe.
Misery/Missouri is just not meant to "Show Me" anything except the way out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Aw, man. I hate to hear that you aren't a fan of the Show-Me State. Especially since I live there. No hard feelings, though. Now that I think about it, I've had some not so great outcomes in this state as well.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I will admit, all of my car crashes took place just south of the border in Arkansas.
I hope you have a more fruitful trip this time. Maybe we can change your mind or at the very least, dial 911.