Am I being P'unked? In other words, Paris and Lindsay you are not....

Last night I visited the salon for a much needed hair cut and color. It was unusually quiet for a week night, but there was a client in the chair next to me. When I arrived she was already sitting there with foil throughout her hair which covered much of her face. Judging the way she was dressed (like a slut) I figured her to be about 18 years old. A little sidekick with skin that looked like leather (also dressed like a slut) sat next to her chatting while her highlights sat.

I generally ignore other clients at the salon and did my best to ignore "Lindsay" and "Paris" as they droned on and on and on about "partying," how much hangovers suck, how "hot" they are, how not hot other girls are, more "partying," "doing it," tanning, "partying," and a little more tanning. They mentioned the name of a local community college a couple of times, reaffirming my guess that they were both about 18 years old.

The stylist told the girl getting the highlights (she's the "Lindsay" of the pair) that the color wasn't taking and the whole process would take longer than anticipated. That's when "Lindsay" and "Paris" both freaked out. "Paris" yelled, "Well, like, our ride is coming at, like 8? What are we gonna do?" The stylist, who herself is probably 19 years old said, "Why do you need a ride?"

"Paris" responded, "I don't drive yet."

"Yet?" OK, this caught my attention.

The stylist was taken aback. She said, "How old are you?" (emphasis on "are") and the response "Paris" gave? 15.

15.

Really? Yet she's publicly talking about sex and drinking like she's on an episode of "Jersey Shore" (I've still never seen "Jersey Shore" but I bet they not only talk about sex and drinking, they probably do both on camera - a lot) and thinking nothing of it? Wow!

The stylist then asked "Lindsay" her age.  Guess what? "Lindsay" is a whopping 16. Although she's legally old enough to drive, she is only allowed to drive ten minutes from home because she has already been in two car accidents. Since the salon is more than ten minutes from home she had to catch a ride. Not sure if this is court-ordered or mom-ordered but you now see why she's the "Lindsay."

Turns out "Paris" and "Lindsay" are from an ultra conservative suburb - one with a reputation for being uber-religious. They don't quite fit the stereotype with their leather-like skin, mini skirts and partying ways...but what I was most taken aback by was their ages. These two ding dongs are just, well, pathetic (and I'm referring to our Midwestern "Paris" and "Lindsay" not the real Paris and Lindsay - they've been judged enough haven't they?).

Was this sitation was for real? Was I being punk'd? These two clearly view celebrities like Paris Hilton and LiLo as role models but hello, this is the Midwest - no matter how short your miniskirt, how many trips to the tanning salon or how many times you say "partying" and "hot" you still will never be Paris or Lindsay...and you know what, sweethearts? That's a good thing! Get over yourselves, go buy a Hannah Montana poster (though I hear Miley is on the road to Lindsay-ville), download a Justin Bieber song (I just had to Google his name so I would spell it correctly), buy some non-slutty clothes at Hollister or some teey-bopper store and call it a day!